At a recent conference, I found myself offering words of encouragement to younger doctors—simple phrases like “Do your best” or “Have you tried this approach?”
It was only afterward that I realized something quietly unsettling: no one says those words to me anymore.
At a recent conference, I spoke with several younger doctors I have worked with and found myself saying things like,
“Do your best,” or, “Have you thought about doing it this way?”
They were words of encouragement, or perhaps advice.
Then it occurred to me that, at some point along the way, people had stopped saying such things to me.
There is no one left who encourages or cheers me on—
at least, not in my professional life.
Of course, my children still say, “Please stay healthy.”
But that belongs to a different dimension altogether.
When I think about it that way, it feels surprisingly lonely.
When I was younger, if someone said, “Do your best,”
I would reply without much thought,
“Yes, I will.”
But did I truly do my best?
Right after hearing those words, I would usually find some direction, and for a while I probably did “try hard” in my own way.
But how long did that effort really last?
That is less certain.
Those words of encouragement were, in effect, expectations.
Whether or not I lived up to them has accumulated into who I am today.
And in the end, the evaluation of those results is made by others.
Seen from that perspective, politicians are interesting figures: even at an advanced age, they continue to be “expected” to perform.
Of course, much of that expectation is tied to personal gain and outcomes,
and is directed more toward results than toward the individual themselves.
Even so, just because others no longer place expectations on me does not mean I must stop expecting something of myself.
For now, at least,
I will have to keep encouraging myself
as I go on living.
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