What I Should Have Aimed for Was Not the Thousand-Armed Kannon

After taking a summer vacation, a veteran pediatric pathologist finds himself overwhelmed with work. Reflecting on a career spent accepting almost every request, he begins to wonder whether he should have devoted himself more deeply to a single specialty rather than trying to do everything.

Whenever I take a summer vacation, I eventually have to make up for the time away. As a result, the past two days have been extraordinarily busy, and today will probably be no different.

At what we call a high-volume center, it is not just the number of patients that is demanding. Many of the cases are also diagnostically challenging. In other words, difficult cases tend to be referred to such hospitals, creating challenges quite different from those faced by hospitals that mainly deal with common diseases.

Apparently, simply working at a specialized hospital for many years is enough for people to regard you as an expert. At my age, this means being asked not only to provide consultations but also to take on various responsibilities for academic societies.

These obligations can be an enormous nuisance. On the other hand, without them, I might find myself with too much time on my hands and nothing meaningful to do. So my feelings are rather mixed.

Perhaps I enjoy being in the spotlight. Or perhaps I have simply followed too faithfully my late father's motto: "Never turn down work that comes your way." Whatever the reason, whenever someone asks me to do something, I tend to accept.

In a sense, perhaps that is rather irresponsible.

The positive side is that it has given me a wide range of experiences. But I am not even particularly versatile, so I can hardly call myself a jack-of-all-trades. Even now, I feel that I have never quite managed to concentrate my work on what I truly wanted to pursue.

From the outside, I suppose I would be described as a pathologist specializing in pediatric and perinatal pathology. But those few words cover an extraordinarily broad field.

When I was younger, I thought I could do just about anything, like the thousand-armed Kannon, the Buddhist bodhisattva of compassion, depicted with countless arms reaching out to help those in need.

But no matter how many hands one has, there is a limit to what each individual hand can accomplish.

Looking back now, I wonder whether what I should have aimed for was not to become like the thousand-armed Kannon, but rather to devote myself deeply to one particular field and truly master it.

Then again, it seems rather questionable for someone who is supposed to be an expert, and who is now approaching retirement, to be saying such things.

I have gradually begun entrusting more of my responsibilities to younger pathologists around me. Yet that, too, leaves me feeling a little lonely.

I suppose I really am rather selfish.

Perhaps the hardest part of growing older is learning to let go of the things we once insisted on doing ourselves.

・・・

high-volume center	多数の症例を扱う高度専門医療施設
diagnostically challenging	診断が難しい、診断上の課題が多い
academic societies	学会、学術団体
an enormous nuisance	面倒なことこの上ない
have mixed feelings	複雑な心境である
enjoy being in the spotlight	目立つことが好きである
jack-of-all-trades	何でも屋、多芸な人。「器用貧乏」の比喩
devote oneself to	〜に専念する、打ち込む
truly master	本当に究める、熟達する
entrust responsibilities to	仕事や責任を他者に任せる

#Pathology #PediatricPathology #MedicalCareer #LifeReflections #CareerReflection #WorkLifeBalance #Retirement #Buddhism #ThousandArmedKannon #JapaneseCulture

I'm Not the Only One Who Doesn't Really Know

We all have doubts about ourselves, no matter how confident we may appear. Even the world's most powerful leaders may not fully understand the consequences of their decisions. Perhaps admitting that we don't have all the answers isn't such a bad thing after all.

I have rather low self-esteem, and I rarely feel confident about anything I do.

Whatever the task, I'm simply relieved when it's over without any major problems.

Even then, I keep dwelling on what I should have done differently, thinking, "I should have done this," or "I should have done that."

I don't suppose anyone seriously evaluates what I do anyway. But then again, I'm not even sure whether my work can be evaluated objectively in the first place. So perhaps it can't be helped.

Even examinations don't necessarily measure intelligence accurately.

Except for a tiny handful of people at the very top, I sometimes feel that test-taking skills matter more than natural intelligence.

There are no absolutely reliable standards for evaluating people.

In the end, I really don't know whether what I'm doing is right, or whether it deserves recognition.

Surely I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Everyone must live with some degree of uncertainty and anxiety.

Even those who proudly claim to have no such worries may simply be compensating for their insecurities in one way or another.

Perhaps human beings don't even know exactly how much they really understand.

What made me think about this was a news report I saw yesterday concerning the war in Ukraine. According to the report, the Russian president had proposed a meeting with the leaders of China and the United States.

Perhaps he imagines himself recreating the Yalta Conference, suggesting that the leaders of the world's three major powers should get together and decide what to do.

Unlike World War II, however, the war in Ukraine began with Russia's invasion of a neighboring country. Surely it is not something that the great powers have any right to settle among themselves while leaving Ukraine out of the discussion.

Of course, in today's globalized world, such a conflict can no longer remain a matter between just two countries.

Perhaps Russia is growing frustrated with the seemingly endless stalemate and is desperately searching for a way out.

But what was the war supposed to achieve in the first place? And what kind of ending did its leaders originally envision?

This is hardly limited to Ukraine.

When I look at the conflicts involving Iran and the United States, Israel and Palestine, and various other international disputes, I sometimes wonder whether the people governing these countries really understand what consequences their decisions will bring.

Of course, they must have access to enormous amounts of information that someone like me could never hope to obtain. They also receive advice from experts who are supposed to be highly capable.

But even so, they cannot see the future.

They may appear to make decisions with a complete understanding of the situation, but perhaps they are actually just feeling their way forward through uncertainty.

And their decisions must involve all sorts of considerations, not only national interests but also their own political positions, reputations, personal interests, and ambitions.

Driven by these invisible anxieties and desires, they keep taking one action after another.

Yet perhaps even they don't really understand what they are doing.

When I think of it that way, my own lack of confidence seems rather insignificant, almost endearing.

After all, I'm just an ordinary person, still worrying about all sorts of trivial things and never quite feeling confident about what I've accomplished in life.

I'm not the only one who doesn't really know.

If everyone is more or less in the same boat, perhaps I don't need to keep looking down on myself simply because I lack confidence.

Perhaps not having all the answers is no reason to think less of myself.

・・・

low self-esteem	自己肯定感が低い。自分自身の価値を低く評価すること。
dwell on something	過去の失敗や後悔などを、いつまでもくよくよ考える。
natural intelligence	地頭の良さ、生来の知的能力。
compensate for one's insecurities	自分の不安や自信のなさを、別の行動や態度で埋め合わせる。
the Yalta Conference	ヤルタ会談。1945年2月、米英ソの首脳が戦後秩序を協議した会談。
stalemate	膠着状態。戦争や交渉が行き詰まり、進展しないこと。
feel one's way forward	手探りで進む。確かな見通しがないまま慎重に行動する。
in the same boat	同じ境遇にある、似たような問題を抱えている。
think less of myself	自分を低く評価する、自分を卑下する。

#SelfEsteem #SelfDoubt #HumanNature #Uncertainty #WorldPolitics #UkraineWar #SelfReflection #PersonalEssay #LifeThoughts #こんな気持ちでいられたら #自己肯定感 #人生を考える

Monday Again, After Two Weeks

 

After an international conference in Fukuoka and a belated summer vacation in Karuizawa, I'm finally back to my usual Monday routine. With a busy week ahead, an overflowing inbox, and plenty of work waiting for me, it's time to get back into work mode.

Another beautiful morning, with clear skies and sunshine.

The temperature in Tokyo is expected to reach around 25°C by midday.

After experiencing the crisp autumn air in Karuizawa last week, my body has already adjusted to autumn. But when it comes to clothing, I still need something suitable for both summer and fall.

Last Monday was Sports Day, a national holiday in Japan, and I was attending an international conference in Fukuoka.

So this is my first regular working Monday in two weeks.

I tend to pack my Mondays with all sorts of tasks, so they are always busy, and the day seems to fly by.

That's why I decided to catch a train one departure earlier than usual this morning.

Even so, looking around, the train is still quite crowded.

It's the same familiar morning commute as always.

Although I don't have any conferences or other events where I'm scheduled to give a presentation this week, I still have several clinical conferences and online meetings to attend.

I also need to make progress on preparations for a medical conference coming up in February.

But before any of that, the first thing I'll have to do when I arrive at the hospital is tackle the mountain of work emails that must have piled up during my absence.

I suppose I'd better get myself into work mode and stay focused.

After all, I don't want to find myself dozing off just because I got up a little earlier than usual!

Time to get back into work mode—and make sure I stay awake!

・・・

get back into work mode	仕事モードに戻る、気持ちを仕事に切り替える
a belated summer vacation	少し遅れた夏休み
crisp autumn air	ひんやりと爽やかな秋の空気
adjust to autumn	秋の気候に体が慣れる
Sports Day	スポーツの日。日本の国民の祝日。旧称は体育の日
pack one's schedule with	予定をぎっしり詰め込む
the day flies by	一日があっという間に過ぎる
one departure earlier than usual	いつもより一本早い電車で
the same familiar morning commute	いつもと変わらない、見慣れた通勤風景
make progress on	～を進める、進展させる
tackle a mountain of emails	山積みになったメールを片づける
pile up	積み重なる、溜まる
doze off	うとうとする、居眠りする

#MondayMorning #BackToWork #MorningCommute #TokyoLife #LifeInJapan #AfterVacation #AutumnInJapan #WorkingLife #MedicalConference #DailyReflections

A Laid-Back Autumn Day

Another beautiful autumn day in Kamakura. With perfect weather and no particular plans, I spent the day taking things easy. A few household chores, a walk with Anne, and some quiet time to reflect on the future. Sometimes, that's all it takes to make a good day.

Another beautiful, sunny autumn day.

The temperature and humidity were just right, making it a very pleasant day.

I didn't do anything particularly special. I just took it easy and enjoyed a laid-back day.

Of course, that doesn't mean I sat around doing nothing.

I took Anne for a walk, cooked some rice while looking after the house, tidied up the garden, and washed the car.

Before I knew it, the whole day had flown by.

 

The week began with an academic conference, followed by a little work, and then a somewhat belated summer vacation.

And now, that week is coming to an end.

I also had time to think about various things, including what lies ahead in my life.

All in all, it was a good week.

And today was a good day, too.

There's still a little of it left, so I think I'll spend the remaining hours taking it easy.

There's still a little time left in the day. I think I'll just relax and enjoy it.

・・・

laid-back	のんびりした、気負わない、まったりした
take it easy	のんびり過ごす、無理をせず気楽にする
just right	ちょうどよい、申し分ない
sit around doing nothing	何もせずぼんやりしている
look after the house	留守番をする、家のことを見ている
tidy up the garden	庭をきれいにする、庭を片づける
before I knew it	気がつけば、いつの間にか
fly by	時間があっという間に過ぎる
somewhat belated	少し遅れた、時期外れの
what lies ahead	これから先に待っていること、将来
all in all	総じて、振り返ってみれば

#AutumnInKamakura #LaidBackDay #RelaxingSunday #LifeInJapan #SimplePleasures #FlatCoatedRetriever #LifeWithAnne #QuietReflections #AutumnDays #KamakuraLife

Pets Are Like Family, but…

I used to wonder why people called their pets members of the family. Now, living with our Flat-Coated Retriever, Anne, I find myself feeling much the same way. But if pets are so precious to us, why do some people abandon them?

I used to hear people say, “Pets are members of the family,” and wonder what on earth they were talking about.

Recently, however, I realized that I, too, have come to think of our Flat-Coated Retriever, Anne, as something like a member of the family.

Perhaps I felt the same way about our previous dogs, Koro and Knight, without really realizing it.

But why do humans want to keep animals as pets in the first place?

Pets are not limited to dogs and cats. Some people keep birds, others fish, and still others reptiles.

People develop affection for all kinds of animals, each in their own way.

I wonder if they all come to regard their pets as family, too.

On the other hand, some people abandon their pets.

Just a little while ago, I saw a television report about abandoned raccoons.

We have raccoons here in Kamakura, of course, as well as Taiwan squirrels and masked palm civets.

Raccoons and Taiwan squirrels were originally brought to Japan by humans. Some escaped from captivity, while others were deliberately released or abandoned, eventually establishing populations in the wild.

Whenever I see these animals, I have mixed feelings.

People take animals home because they find them cute, but when caring for them becomes too difficult, some simply abandon them.

As a result, these animals multiply in the wild, disrupt local ecosystems, and eventually become targets of population control or extermination.

In the end, it seems that human thoughtlessness has come back to haunt us.

And yet, there is little I can personally do to change the situation.

At the very least, I can take good care of Anne, who is now part of our household, and remain responsible for her throughout her life.

Perhaps that is all I can do.

Perhaps the least we can do for the animals we bring into our lives is to care for them until the very end.

a member of the family	家族の一員。ペットについても自然に使う表現
in the first place	そもそも、第一に
develop affection for	～に愛情を抱くようになる
abandon a pet	ペットを捨てる、遺棄する
escape from captivity	飼育下から逃げ出す
establish populations in the wild	野生で繁殖し、個体群として定着する
have mixed feelings	複雑な気持ちになる
disrupt local ecosystems	地域の生態系を乱す
population control	個体数管理。駆除を含む場合がある
come back to haunt us	過去の行為が巡り巡って悪い結果をもたらす。「しっぺ返しを受ける」に近い
human thoughtlessness	人間の無思慮、無自覚さ
throughout her life	その生涯を通して、最後まで

#PetsAreFamily #FlatCoatedRetriever #LifeWithDogs #AnimalWelfare #ResponsiblePetOwnership #AbandonedPets #WildlifeConservation #Kamakura #AnneTheDog #LifeInJapan

A False Magnitude 9.9 Earthquake Alert at the Mampei Hotel in Karuizawa

 

A peaceful afternoon at the historic Mampei Hotel in Karuizawa took an unexpected turn when our smartphones suddenly sounded an earthquake alert. A magnitude 9.9 earthquake, with strong shaking expected in just three minutes? We found ourselves counting down, wondering what to do.

Another beautiful sunny day in Karuizawa. In fact, it seems that the whole of Japan was blessed with fine weather today, which is certainly something to be thankful for.

After checking out of our hotel, we took Anne to the dog park and let her run around to her heart's content. Then we headed to Old Karuizawa.

Our destination was the Mampei Hotel, one of my wife's favorite places.

We were relaxing on the terrace, where dogs are welcome, when suddenly an earthquake warning sounded on my smartphone.

Everyone else's phones around us went off at the same time.

"Hey, it says magnitude 9.9! The earthquake is in the Kuril Islands, and the shaking is supposed to reach us in three minutes!"

Japan has an Earthquake Early Warning system that alerts people before strong shaking arrives. But a magnitude of 9.9? That would be beyond anything ever recorded.

　　　

 

So, what should we do?

We were sitting outside on the terrace. Should we stay where we were, or crawl under the table?

While I was thinking about it, the countdown reached two minutes.

Hmm. What to do?

My wife suggested moving away from the building because she was worried about the hotel's eaves.

I thought that, since we were so far from the epicenter, the shaking probably wouldn't be all that strong. So I stayed where I was.

Before I knew it, there was only one minute left.

If the shaking started, I would get under the table.

Perhaps I could first see how strong it was by watching the lampshades inside the hotel. There should be enough time to decide what to do after that.

With these thoughts running through my mind, I waited for the shaking to begin.

But nothing happened.

"That's strange. It's not shaking at all. Maybe it wasn't such a big earthquake after all?"

Just as we were saying that, a second warning sounded.

An aftershock?

Then, before long, we heard that the Japan Meteorological Agency had canceled the warning.

Hmm.

The agency apparently says it wasn't a cyberattack, but I certainly hope that was the case.

A magnitude 9.9 earthquake that never came. Quite an unexpected experience during what was supposed to be a peaceful afternoon at the Mampei Hotel.

 

・・・

• Earthquake Early Warning (EEW) — 緊急地震速報。日本で地震の強い揺れが到達する前に発表される警報。

• Kuril Islands — 千島列島。北海道の北東からカムチャツカ半島にかけて連なる島々。

• Epicenter — 震央。地震の震源の真上にあたる地表の地点。

• Eaves — 軒、ひさし。建物の屋根が外壁より外側に張り出した部分。

• To her heart's content — 思う存分、満足するまで。

• Aftershock — 余震。大きな地震の後に発生する地震。

• Cyberattack — サイバー攻撃。コンピューターシステムやネットワークに対する悪意のある攻撃。

• Before I knew it — 気がつけば、いつの間にか。

#Karuizawa #MampeiHotel #EarthquakeAlert #EarthquakeEarlyWarning #Magnitude99 #KurilIslands #JapanTravel #OldKaruizawa #TravelWithDogs #軽井沢 #万平ホテル #緊急地震速報 #千島列島

Autumn in Karuizawa with Ann

A beautiful autumn day in Karuizawa with our Flat-Coated Retriever, Ann. From a leisurely breakfast at a dog-friendly hotel to a spacious dog park and the colorful reflections at Kumoba Pond, it was a peaceful and relaxing day. The sweet fragrance of fallen katsura leaves made the autumn atmosphere even more memorable. Everything seemed perfect, except for one unexpected disappointment: the Los Angeles Dodgers, whom I had confidently expected to win, suffered another heartbreaking defeat.

We started the morning with a walk around the neighborhood with Ann. After returning to the hotel, we let her play in the dog run before heading to breakfast.

Naturally, Ann came along with us.

Actually, since this hotel is specifically designed for guests traveling with their dogs, having her with us was simply a matter of course.

We sat at the same table as the previous evening. Apparently, it was designated for large dogs. That didn't mean the table itself was particularly large. It was simply one of the tables at the far end of the dining room.

The hotel also offered a special menu for dogs, so we added small portions of it to Ann's usual food.

Quite a luxurious vacation for Ann, too!

After taking our time over breakfast, we returned to our room and leisurely packed our things while cheering for the Dodgers.

When the Dodgers took the lead, I figured everything would be fine from there. After all, they still had Roki Sasaki available to pitch.

So we checked out and headed for a dog park that had apparently been created by converting part of a golf course.

Ann ran freely in every direction across the enormous open space and seemed to be having a wonderful time.

If only we had a dog park this spacious back home in Kamakura!

 

After that, we drove to the old Karuizawa area and visited Kumoba Pond.

There was some traffic congestion due to road construction along the way, but since it was a weekday, we managed to get around relatively quickly.

At Kumoba Pond, the brilliant red autumn foliage of the Japanese enkianthus shrubs was beautifully reflected on the water's surface.

We were blessed with lovely weather throughout our stay in autumnal Karuizawa. The sweet fragrance of katsura trees drifted through the air, making it a thoroughly pleasant experience.

All in all, it was a wonderfully peaceful and relaxing day.

Later that evening, I checked the result of the Dodgers' game against the Milwaukee Brewers online.

To my surprise, the Dodgers had lost after surrendering their lead.

I had been so sure they were going to win.

And now, at last, they had no room left for another defeat.

A perfect autumn day in Karuizawa—if only the Dodgers had won!

 

・・・

dog-friendly hotel	犬同伴で宿泊できるホテル
a matter of course	当然のこと、当たり前のこと
be designated for	〜用に指定されている
take one's time over breakfast	ゆっくり時間をかけて朝食をとる
figure everything would be fine	もう大丈夫だろうと思う
convert part of a golf course	ゴルフコースの一部を転用する
run freely in every direction	縦横無尽に走り回る
Japanese enkianthus	ドウダンツツジ。秋に鮮やかに紅葉する低木
katsura tree	カツラの木。秋の落葉は甘い香りを放つ
be reflected on the water's surface	水面に映る
surrender one's lead	リードを失う、逆転を許す
have no room left for another defeat	もう一敗もできない、あとがない

#Karuizawa #AutumnInJapan #KumobaPond #DogFriendlyTravel #FlatCoatedRetriever #TravelWithDogs #AutumnFoliage #Kamakura #ShoheiOhtani #RokiSasaki #Dodgers #軽井沢 #雲場池 #紅葉 #犬との旅行 #フラットコーテッドレトリバー #大谷翔平

The Fate of the World, Shohei Ohtani, and My Summer Vacation

With my international conference finally over, I can at last enjoy a belated summer vacation. But even in mid-October, the weather still feels like summer. And despite having time to relax, I found myself lying awake last night, worrying about everything from the possibility of nuclear war to Shohei Ohtani's place in the Dodgers' lineup. Sometimes the troubles of the world and the smallest concerns of everyday life seem to carry equal weight in a sleepless mind.

The international conference is finally over, and I can breathe a sigh of relief.

My belated summer vacation begins today.

A summer vacation starting in mid-October? Not so long ago, nobody would have called it a summer vacation. And yet, today is another day with summer-like temperatures.

It feels more like the weather we used to have around the end of September, just after the autumn equinox.

The seasons seem to have shifted by about a month.

Despite finally being on vacation, I didn't sleep very well last night.

Apart from my own personal concerns, the state of international affairs has been making it difficult for me to feel at ease.

The worst part came when I started thinking about the increasingly high-handed behavior of the president of a certain country.

What if, on the very day he leaves office, he decides to press the nuclear button and take the entire world down with him?

Once that thought entered my mind, I probably lay awake for another thirty minutes.

Then I spent about ten minutes worrying that Shohei Ohtani might lose his place in the Los Angeles Dodgers' starting lineup.

Add those worries to my own personal concerns, and I must have spent about an hour lying awake.

I went to bed a little later than usual last night, but ended up waking at my usual time anyway.

I had hoped to get plenty of sleep, but instead, I actually slept less than usual.

As a result, I spent much of the day feeling rather foggy-headed.

What a waste of a precious vacation day.

Fortunately, the weather has been kind to me.

I hope I can get a really good night's sleep tonight.

If only I could give my worries a vacation, too.

 

・・・ 

the fate of the world	世界の行く末、世界の運命
breathe a sigh of relief	ほっと一息つく、安堵する
belated summer vacation	遅れて取る夏休み
the autumn equinox	秋分。日本の「秋のお彼岸」を説明する際にも使える表現
the state of international affairs	国際情勢
high-handed behavior	強引で独善的な振る舞い、専横ぶり
take the entire world down with him	世界全体を道連れにする
lose one's place in the starting lineup	スタメンから外れる
lie awake	眠れずに横になっている
foggy-headed	頭がぼんやりした、頭がすっきりしない

#ShoheiOhtani #大谷翔平 #Dodgers #LosAngelesDodgers #SummerVacation #BelatedSummerVacation #SleeplessNight #WorldAffairs #NuclearWar #ClimateChange #EverydayLife #PersonalReflections #夏休み #国際情勢 #睡眠不足

Once Again, Somewhere in the World Today

This morning, I watched disturbing footage of a missile attack on an airport in Saudi Arabia. It made me think about the violence taking place around the world, the fragile nature of peace, and how easily we take our own peaceful lives for granted.

This morning, footage of a missile attack on an airport in Saudi Arabia was shown on the news.

I was horrified to see a crowd of people standing in line suddenly engulfed in flames.

Scenes like this are unfolding in different parts of the world, with countless people being injured or losing their lives.

What on earth is all this happening for?

What kind of situation could possibly leave killing people as the only way to resolve it?

And if there are people who have been driven to the point where they see violence as their only way forward, how are we supposed to understand their lives and circumstances?

Whatever the circumstances may be, I cannot believe that taking human lives can ever truly solve anything.

With our neighboring country repeatedly testing long-range missiles, even Japan's peace could be shattered at any moment.

For that matter, defining what we mean by peace is difficult in itself.

If we can simply maintain the status quo and live our lives in comfort and security, that may be peace enough for us.

But for people struggling under harsh conditions, uncertain whether they will even make it through tomorrow, peace may be something they feel they must fight to achieve.

I am beginning to lose sight of what it is that has kept Japan at peace.

I once took that peace for granted, as though it were simply a natural part of life. But perhaps it is only being maintained by a complicated combination of factors, barely holding together in an extremely delicate balance.

The peace we enjoy today is by no means something we can take for granted. It is something extraordinarily precious, and we must never stop thinking about what it takes to preserve it.

Peace is never something we should take for granted.

 

・・・

Expression
be engulfed in flames	炎に包まれる。衝撃的な映像の描写に使う表現
What on earth ...?	一体全体なぜ〜なのか。強い疑問や困惑を表す
see violence as their only way forward	暴力に訴えることしか活路がないと考える
whatever the circumstances may be	どのような事情があろうとも
be shattered at any moment	いつ崩壊してもおかしくない
maintain the status quo	現状を維持する
fight to achieve peace	平和を勝ち取るために戦う
take something for granted	何かを当たり前のものと思う
a delicate balance	危うい均衡、繊細なバランス
preserve peace	平和を守り、維持する

#Peace #WorldPeace #MiddleEast #SaudiArabia #WarAndPeace #Humanity #FragilePeace #Japan #ReflectionsOnLife #平和 #中東情勢 #戦争と平和 #日々の思い

Looking Back on the Path I've Taken — Reflections After My Presentation at IAP 2026

 

After presenting at IAP 2026 in Fukuoka, Japan, I find myself reflecting on more than just the conference. Speaking in English at an international meeting was exhausting, especially at my age, but I managed to get through it. Yet the experience has left me questioning what I have accomplished in my thirty years as a pathologist. Have I made the most of my abilities? What does professional success really mean? And what responsibilities remain for me as a leader?

The international conference in Fukuoka has come to a successful conclusion.

First of all, I'm exhausted.

For a pathologist in his early sixties, attending an international conference is demanding, even when it's held here in Japan.

What exactly constitutes a "successful conclusion" may differ from person to person. But I stood at the podium, somewhat nervous, and managed to speak in English for a little over ten minutes, however haltingly. I even managed to respond to the questions during the discussion.

So I suppose I can call that a success.

The presentation itself was challenging. I was proposing a new classification for benign congenital lesions, a subject so complicated that even I sometimes found myself getting confused while explaining it.

Considering all that, I think I did reasonably well.

It's rather pathetic to have to console myself like this, but at least the presentation is over. Now I'm heading home to Kamakura.

Still, I've been doing things like this for thirty years.

When I look back on my career as a pathologist, I can't help wondering what I've actually accomplished.

I haven't published any particularly significant papers, and sometimes I even question whether I deserve to call myself a specialist in pathology.

But these are the results of my career, and there's no point in denying them.

No matter how hard one works, it's difficult to compete with people who are truly gifted.

On the other hand, talent comes in many forms, and I don't know whether the path I chose was really the best one for me.

Perhaps this was the best I could have done.

Perhaps this was simply the limit of my abilities.

When it comes to success in life, people tend to judge us by our achievements. The process of getting there receives far less attention.

Of course, when it comes to personal growth, the process matters enormously. The kind of person we become is something quite different from what we achieve professionally.

Looking back on the path I've taken, I feel I can give myself a little credit for the way I've lived my life.

All things considered, I think I've done reasonably well.

But as a pathologist, I can't help feeling that I've fallen somewhat short.

I intend to continue working as a pathologist for a while longer, but I wonder what I should be doing now as a leader.

I'm no longer entirely confident that I have what it takes.

Even if I'm little more than a hollow facade, trying to live up to a role that may be beyond my abilities, I still have a responsibility to fulfill it for as long as that role is entrusted to me.

These are the thoughts running through my tired mind, just after finishing my presentation.

Perhaps the hardest part of looking back on one's career is accepting both what one has achieved and what one never could.

 

・・・・ 

• Come to a successful conclusion — 無事に終了する。単に finish というより、問題なく終えられたというニュアンス。

• However haltingly — たどたどしいながらも。流暢ではない英語で何とか話した様子。

• Constitute — ～に相当する、～を構成する。What constitutes success? で「何をもって成功というのか」。

• Console myself — 自分を慰める。失敗や不安を抱えた自分を納得させようとすること。

• Truly gifted — 本当に才能に恵まれた。生来の優れた才能を強調する表現。

• Fall somewhat short — 期待や目標に少し届かない。「イマイチだった」という控えめな自己評価。

• Have what it takes — 必要な能力や資質を備えている。

• A hollow facade — 中身の伴わない外見、見せかけ。「ハリボテ」の比喩的表現。

• Entrust a role to someone — 人に役割を託す。責任や信頼を伴う表現。

   

#IAP2026 #Pathology #Pathologist #InternationalConference #MedicalCareer #CareerReflection #Leadership #PersonalGrowth #Fukuoka #Kamakura #病理医 #国際学会 #人生を振り返る

How to Live with AI: A Challenge Shared Around the World @IAP2026

 Artificial intelligence is rapidly changing the practice of medicine, including pathology. While AI offers remarkable benefits, it also raises an important question: Could relying too much on AI gradually weaken our own professional skills? At an international pathology conference in Fukuoka, I discovered that this concern is shared by pathologists in other countries. It was reassuring to realize that I was not alone in wondering how we can embrace AI without losing the expertise we have spent decades developing.

International Congress of Pathology, Fukuoka.

Since I wasn't scheduled to give my presentation today, I spent the day attending various sessions.

I attended one on soft tissue tumors, which are quite relevant to pediatric pathology, and another on artificial intelligence.

Recently, I've been worrying that using AI might be weakening my own ability to think independently. Ironically, I've even been discussing this concern with AI itself.

Today, during a lecture, a German pathologist said something about "If I lose my skills."

Hearing those words, I felt strangely reassured. So I wasn't the only one worrying about this after all.

If this is already a concern in pathology, I imagine the problem may be even more serious in clinical medicine. And in other scientific fields, not to mention the business world, AI may be making even greater inroads.

All in all, I've enjoyed the conference so far, and tomorrow it's finally my turn to give my presentation.

I've prepared thoroughly, or at least I think I have. But will everything go smoothly?

Despite these worries, I ended up having quite a few drinks with an old friend from high school, who now runs his own medical practice in Kyushu.

I still need to go over my presentation script one more time before tomorrow, so I'll leave it at that for today.

That said, I suppose I'd better read through my presentation script once more tonight, even with my head a little fuzzy from the drinks.

Perhaps the real challenge is not learning how to use AI, but learning how to keep thinking for ourselves while using it. 

#ArtificialIntelligence #AIinPathology #Pathology #MedicalEducation #ClinicalSkills #InternationalConference #Fukuoka #PediatricPathology #HumanExpertise #LifeWithAI #IAP2026