My Trousers Are Getting a Little Tighter Again

 

Winter is finally approaching Japan, and it is time to bring out my old suit again. But every year, I face the same small anxiety: will the trousers still fit? I have been wearing this winter suit for more than ten years, and somehow I managed to squeeze into it again this year. Still, I am beginning to wonder how much longer I can keep doing so.

Yesterday, Kogarashi Ichigo, the season's first cold winter wind, swept through the Kanto region, signaling that winter is finally on its way.

And yet, until just the day before yesterday, I was still wearing a polo shirt under my jacket. There is no doubt that the changing of the seasons is coming later and later.

It was chilly again this morning. When I stepped out onto the balcony to take a photograph, I felt a sudden shiver.

I have a medical conference to attend today.

I am giving a lecture, and since it is rather cold, I decided to wear a winter suit.

Whenever it is time to change my wardrobe for the season, I always worry about whether I will still be able to fit into my trousers.

Sure enough, they were a little tighter again this year. But I managed to get them on, much to my relief.

These days, I rarely have an opportunity to wear a suit.

I occasionally buy a new jacket, but I have stopped buying new suits altogether.

I have been wearing this particular suit for well over ten years.

The fact that I can still wear it may mean that I have somehow managed to maintain my figure, if only just barely. But even if I got away with it this year, who knows what will happen next year?

I would like to keep wearing this suit until the year I retire.

So perhaps I really should make another attempt to lose some weight after all.

The suit has lasted more than ten years. The question is whether my waistline can keep up.

 

・・・

Kogarashi Ichigo (木枯らし1号) — The first officially recognized cold, dry wind of the season, signaling the approach of winter in Japan. 日本の冬の訪れを告げる、その季節最初の冷たく乾いた風。

signal — To indicate that something is happening or about to happen. 何かの始まりや変化を知らせる、兆しとなる。

feel a shiver — To experience a sudden trembling sensation, usually because of cold or fear. 寒さや恐怖でゾクッとする。

much to my relief — An expression used when something turns out well after a period of worry. ほっとしたことに、安心したことに。

altogether — Completely or entirely, often used when stopping an activity. 完全に、すっかり。

maintain my figure — To keep one's body shape or weight relatively unchanged. 体型を維持する。

get away with it — To manage to do something without suffering the expected consequences. 何とか切り抜ける、うまく済ませる。

waistline — The measurement or shape of the body around the waist. ウエスト、胴回り。

#HealthyAging #WeightLoss #AutumnInJapan #EverydayLife #JapanesePathologist

Comparing Myself to Others Won't Change Anything, But Still...

We all know that comparing ourselves to others doesn't really accomplish anything. Yet sometimes, even when we know better, we can't help doing it.

Social media has made it easier than ever to catch glimpses of other people's lives. We see their achievements, their happy moments, their busy schedules, and their expressions of gratitude. Of course, what appears on social media is rarely the whole story. Most people choose what they want others to see, and understandably, they tend to share the good things rather than the bad.

Still, knowing this doesn't necessarily prevent us from feeling something when we read those posts. Sometimes it's admiration. Sometimes it's encouragement. And sometimes it's a faint, uncomfortable feeling that is difficult to put into words.

I write a personal blog almost every day, but I don't spend much time posting on Facebook or Instagram. To me, there is a subtle difference between the people whose blogs I choose to read and the people whose social media posts appear in front of me.

Perhaps the real question isn't whether we should compare ourselves with others, but why we continue to do so, even when we know there's little point.

I often receive email notifications when someone posts something on social media.

There's nothing wrong with people sharing their achievements or good fortune. Depending on the content, I may even enjoy reading about them. But quite a few of these posts don't exactly make me happy, so I rarely go out of my way to open them.

I remember once leaving a comment on someone's post:

"You have so many wonderful things happening in your life. That's nice."

The reply came back:

"Well, I only write about the good things that happen to me here."

I remember thinking, Ah, I see. That makes sense.

Perhaps my comment rubbed that person the wrong way, because I stopped seeing their posts afterward. I don't know whether they stopped posting altogether or simply blocked me.

Anyway, catching glimpses of other people's thoughts and everyday lives sometimes creates little ripples in my mind.

I know I should simply tell myself, My life is mine, and theirs is theirs.

But somehow, it isn't quite that easy.

As for me, writing this blog already takes just about all the time and energy I can spare. I can hardly imagine writing lengthy posts on Instagram or Facebook as well.

When it comes to blogs, I tend to read those written by people who share similar interests or ways of thinking. Like-minded people, you might say. And if I don't enjoy what someone writes, I can simply stop reading.

Social media is a little different. Sometimes we follow people simply because we happen to know them, even if only slightly. Their posts then appear in our feeds whether we particularly want to read them or not.

Still, there are people who know how to write about themselves with remarkable grace.

Some are extremely successful and unbelievably busy, yet somehow manage to describe their hectic lives without sounding the least bit boastful. Others never fail to express their gratitude toward the people around them.

I find myself reading their posts.

Sometimes I think, That's quite impressive.

Or perhaps, So I'm not the only one going through this.

And I feel a sense of understanding, even sympathy.

Comparing my own life with someone else's isn't going to get me anywhere. Still, if something in their experience can help me improve myself, I suppose there's something worth learning from it.

Are human connections becoming weaker these days? Or are we simply so busy that, even when we want to connect with others, we no longer have the time?

In a society like ours, perhaps social media does serve a useful purpose after all.

Perhaps the point is not to stop comparing ourselves with others, but to learn something from those comparisons without losing sight of our own lives.

・・・

compare oneself to others	他人と自分を比較する。日常的な自己比較を表す自然な表現
go out of one's way to	わざわざ〜する。I rarely go out of my way to open them.
rub someone the wrong way	人の気に障る、反感を買う。悪意のない言葉が相手を不快にさせる場合にも使う
catch a glimpse of	〜をちらりと見る、垣間見る
little ripples in my mind	心に生じる小さな波紋。「心のさざなみ」を比喩的に表現
like-minded people	考え方や志向が似ている人々。「同好の士」に近い表現
boastful	自慢げな、鼻にかけた。without sounding boastful で「自慢話に聞こえずに」
with remarkable grace	驚くほど品よく、自然に。自分の成功を嫌味なく語れること
lose sight of	〜を見失う、忘れてしまう
serve a useful purpose	何らかの役に立つ、存在意義がある

#SocialMedia #ComparingOurselves #SelfReflection #HumanConnections #EverydayThoughts #PersonalBlog #LifeLessons #Mindfulness #JapaneseBlogger #ColoKen

Data Breaches and the Market Value of Personal Information

Personal data breaches seem to be happening endlessly. As even Japan's bullet train reservation services are affected, I find myself wondering how much of my own information is already out there—and what my personal data is actually worth.

Unauthorized access exploiting vulnerabilities in computer software has led to an endless series of personal data breaches.

Now, even a reservation service for Japan's Shinkansen bullet trains has reportedly suffered a data breach. I wonder whether my own information has been exposed, but at this point, I have no idea what I should do about it.

To begin with, I no longer know how much personal information I have registered, where I have registered it, or which IDs and passwords I have used for each service.

I must have entered personal information into services I haven't used for years. In fact, I may have been even more carefree about registering my information in those days, when I trusted these systems without a second thought.

When these problems first began attracting attention, experts offered advice such as changing passwords. These days, however, they seem almost at a loss themselves, reduced to telling us to be careful of suspicious emails.

After all, their own personal information has probably been leaked as well. Perhaps there is little they can do about it either.

When I think that many of the people I pass on the streets every morning and evening have probably had their personal information exposed, I find it frightening. Or perhaps, more than anything, it makes me realize just how completely we have all been drawn into this computerized society.

Criminal groups sometimes demand ransom payments from the companies they attack. The amounts can reportedly reach billions of yen, but how is the value of personal information determined in the first place?

I have no real idea what the market value of personal information might be. Surely, its value differs from person to person. So is it priced in bulk, as a package of personal data?

Meanwhile, some of the people whose information has been leaked are preparing to file a class-action lawsuit. They are seeking compensation of 50,000 yen per person if an image of their driver's license was exposed, and 30,000 yen for those whose other personal information was leaked.

How were these amounts calculated, I wonder?

Years ago, magazines used to have pen-pal sections near the back, where people's names and home addresses were openly printed.

Back then, we hardly gave a thought to the possibility that such information might be used for criminal purposes. It is one of those memories of the good old days.

Today, dating apps have more or less taken the place of those old pen-pal columns. And I imagine that the personal information stored in these apps includes much more detailed descriptions of people's individual tastes and preferences.

Although it is not really my concern, I cannot help hoping that such deeply personal information has not been leaked as well.

Some things about us are simply too personal to have a price tag.

・・・

Data breach	情報漏洩。個人情報の流出を指す一般的な表現
Vulnerability	脆弱性。ソフトウェアなどのセキュリティ上の弱点
Unauthorized access	不正アクセス
Without a second thought	深く考えずに、疑いもせずに
Be at a loss	途方に暮れる、どうしてよいかわからない
Ransom payment	身代金の支払い。サイバー攻撃でも使用
Market value	市場価値
In bulk	まとめて、一括して
Class-action lawsuit	集団訴訟。日本の集団訴訟と米国の制度には違いがある
Pen pal	文通相手
Dating app	マッチングアプリ
Tastes and preferences	個人の好みや嗜好
Too personal to have a price tag	値段をつけられないほど個人的な

#DataBreach #PersonalInformation #Cybersecurity #DigitalPrivacy #IdentityTheft #Ransomware #OnlineSafety #データ漏洩 #個人情報 #サイバーセキュリティ #情報セキュリティ #プライバシー

It's Never Too Late to Have a Dream

A news report on local elections got me thinking about the future. Even in my sixties, I have discovered that it is still possible to dream of something new.

This morning's news reported the results of mayoral and other local government elections apparently held yesterday in various parts of Japan.

I was surprised to see how many of the newly elected leaders were relatively old—or rather, about my age, in their sixties. Yet they were enthusiastically talking about their visions for the future of their communities.

What voters expect from their leaders is not just a record of past achievements, but what they will do in the years ahead.

People look forward to a better future for their communities and share that dream with their elected leaders.

The day before yesterday, an idea suddenly came to me.

After I retire, why not renovate my house and turn part of it into a small café where dog lovers in the neighborhood could gather?

Of course, it would not be that simple. There would be many issues to consider, including hygiene and food safety regulations. I have no idea whether the plan could actually become a reality.

But when I asked AI about it, I learned that the idea might not be entirely unrealistic.

There would certainly be things I could and could not do, and the result might be quite different from what I have in mind.

But more importantly, isn't the real point that even at my age, I can still have dreams if I choose to?

The practical details, including how to finance the project, are matters for the future.

My home is in a relatively quiet, out-of-the-way part of Kamakura, a historic city south of Tokyo. Making a profit there would be almost impossible, so figuring out how to run the café without losing money would be a major challenge.

I will take my time thinking about how to design the café and what kind of business it should be.

At least one thing is certain.

Even at my age, I have found something new to look forward to.

It's never too late to find a new dream—and perhaps the joy lies in having something to look forward to.

・・・

It's never too late to...	～するのに遅すぎることはない。今回のタイトルの中心表現
local government elections	地方自治体の首長などを選ぶ選挙
a record of past achievements	これまでの実績、功績
a vision for the future	将来像、未来への構想
turn A into B	AをBに改装・転用する
dog lovers	犬好きの人たち。dog ownersより広い意味
become a reality	現実になる、実現する
out-of-the-way	中心地から離れた、やや奥まった場所
without losing money	赤字を出さずに
something to look forward to	これから先の楽しみ、待ち遠しいこと

#NeverTooLate #NewDreams #LifeAfterRetirement #DogFriendlyCafe #Kamakura #SecondChapter #人生の楽しみ #定年後の暮らし #犬好き #鎌倉暮らし

When in Japan, Do as the Japanese Do

 

A rainy visit to Ginza reminded me how clean and orderly Tokyo is—and how international the city has become. Watching tourists from around the world, I found myself thinking about the old saying, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

My wife and I went to Ginza to buy a gift for my mother's 88th birthday, a special milestone in Japan known as beiju.

I pass through Tokyo's major railway terminals every day, but it had been quite a while since I last got off a train and walked around one of the city's busy shopping districts.

Or so I thought. Come to think of it, I had been to Shinjuku just the other day.

Anyway, despite the heavy showers that kept coming and going under the influence of Typhoon No. 30, Ginza was packed with people.

As I had noticed in Shinjuku, what seemed like 70 percent of the people walking around were foreign tourists. I was particularly struck by the variety of nationalities represented.

Tokyo has truly become an international city.

 

And yet, what impresses me most about Tokyo is how clean it is.

There is hardly any graffiti, the subway stations and trains are clean, and above all, there are plenty of public restrooms.

I remembered my recent visit to New York, when I had a hard time finding a public restroom. When I finally found one, I was astonished by how dirty it was.

Apparently, one of the things that makes foreign visitors nervous about coming to Japan is wondering whether they are following all the local rules and customs.

But watching these tourists behaving so politely and considerately, I felt that they, too, were helping to maintain the beauty and cleanliness of the city.

They seemed to be putting the old saying, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," into practice.

Or perhaps, in this case, I should say, "When in Japan, do as the Japanese do."

Somehow, I found that rather satisfying.

A beautiful city stays beautiful when everyone, residents and visitors alike, does their part.

・・・

• beiju (米寿) — The traditional Japanese celebration of a person's 88th birthday. The character 米 (rice) can be broken down into elements resembling the characters for eighty-eight (八十八).

• railway terminal — A major train station where multiple lines or services connect.

• shopping district — An area with many shops, department stores, and restaurants.

• be packed with people — To be extremely crowded.

• be struck by — To be strongly impressed or surprised by something.

• graffiti — Writing or drawings on walls and other public surfaces, often without permission.

• local rules and customs — The social expectations and accepted ways of behaving in a particular place.

• When in Rome, do as the Romans do — An English proverb meaning that visitors should respect and follow the customs of the place they are visiting. The Japanese equivalent is 「郷に入っては郷に従え」.

• do one's part — To contribute one's share of effort toward a common goal.

#Ginza #Tokyo #JapanTravel #JapaneseCulture #WhenInJapan #TravelEtiquette #CleanCities #InternationalTokyo #銀座 #東京 #外国人観光客 #郷に入っては郷に従え

Experience Goes Beyond Knowledge

A lecture by a former colleague reminded me that medical expertise is built not only on knowledge, but also on years of clinical experience, collaboration, and the willingness to share what we have learned.

Today, there was a meeting of the Kanto Branch of the Japanese Society of Pathology.

A former junior colleague from my university department, now a professor at another university, was scheduled to give a lecture on inflammatory bowel diseases, including ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease. I had been looking forward to attending it.

The lecture was fascinating and highly informative, and it reminded me once again just how capable he is.

Beyond the content itself, however, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of images he presented.

There were numerous endoscopic photographs and images of surgical specimens. It was clear that this collection represented years of accumulated experience, built through close collaboration with clinicians.

We can acquire knowledge by reading textbooks, but that knowledge alone cannot match the experience gained from examining actual cases with our own eyes, thinking carefully about them, and learning from each one.

Experience goes beyond knowledge.

And perhaps this is even more true when that experience is the product of collaboration.

There is, of course, a limit to what any one person can experience in a lifetime.

How we accumulate those experiences and put them to use varies from person to person. But today's lecture was an excellent example of how years of accumulated experience can be put to full use.

What impressed me even more was that he was not simply displaying what he had collected. He was taking the additional step of sharing what he had learned with others.

I, too, have spent years steadily collecting cases and observations, presenting them in lectures and putting them into books.

But have I really been able to communicate the value of my accumulated experience to others?

Today's lecture left me reflecting on that question.

Experience becomes even more valuable when we find a way to pass it on to others.

・・・ 

go beyond knowledge	知識の域を超える。surpass より穏やかで、知識と経験の対立を強調しすぎない表現
a former junior colleague	かつての教室の後輩。日本の医局制度を知らない読者にも理解できる表現
the sheer number of images	圧倒されるほどの写真の多さ。sheer が驚きを表す
accumulated experience	長年にわたり蓄積された経験
close collaboration with clinicians	臨床医との密接な共同作業
put something to full use	蓄積した知識や経験を存分に活用する
pass it on to others	他者や次世代に伝えていく

#Pathology #MedicalEducation #ClinicalExperience #InflammatoryBowelDisease #UlcerativeColitis #CrohnsDisease #LifelongLearning #MedicalKnowledge #病理診断 #医学教育

Cyberwarfare Is Still Warfare

A major security flaw in PHP, reports of state-linked cyberattacks, and the growing use of artificial intelligence in hacking have made me wonder whether warfare is entering a new era. What happens when AI becomes a weapon—and another AI is needed to defend against it?

When I heard that there was a serious problem with PHP, I wondered what had happened.

At first, I thought it was about PHP, a Japanese magazine founded by Konosuke Matsushita, the founder of Panasonic, which I used to read quite often years ago.

But it turned out to be something completely different: PHP, the computer programming language.

A critical security vulnerability had been discovered, and if exploited, it could lead to unauthorized access and data breaches.

Separately, there have recently been a series of incidents involving massive leaks of personal information.

A few years ago, someone used my credit card fraudulently. So I assume that my personal information has already been leaked from somewhere.

Fortunately, my credit card company detected the suspicious transaction and prevented any serious damage.

All I can do now is remain vigilant about possible attacks on my bank accounts and be careful not to fall victim to scams.

This morning, I saw a news report suggesting that a company with ties to a government agency in a certain country might have been involved in cyberattacks.

If true, it would suggest that cyberattacks are being carried out at the national level.

Years ago, there was considerable concern over reports that a certain country was producing extremely sophisticated counterfeit US dollar bills.

Are crimes committed at the national level simply a routine part of international affairs?

What constitutes a crime is not always easy to define. But if a government itself makes a business of such activities, perhaps counterfeiting currency and launching cyberattacks are no longer even regarded as crimes within that country.

War involves taking human lives, and I consider it an act that is almost criminal by its very nature.

Yet when it takes place between nations, the distinction between warfare and criminal activity becomes strangely blurred.

If we think of war as a struggle between nations to seize wealth, resources, and interests, then perhaps state-sponsored cyberattacks can also be considered a form of warfare.

When we think of war, we usually imagine people bleeding and losing their lives.

But perhaps that is only one manifestation of war.

Stealing money that people in another country have worked so hard to earn may also be a form of warfare.

That is what occurred to me as I watched these recent developments unfold.

And if an entire nation is mobilizing its resources to carry out cyberattacks, it seems almost impossible for ordinary individuals to defend themselves.

Even an expert appearing on television offered advice that made little sense to me, saying something along the lines of, "There's nothing you can do. Just stay away from anything suspicious."

Has artificial intelligence already reached a point where it is surpassing human intelligence?

Even if AI itself has no intention of attacking human beings, humans can certainly use it as a weapon of war.

And AI can also be used to defend against those attacks.

We may soon find ourselves living in an age when humans are caught in the middle of battles fought between artificial intelligences.

The next battlefield may be one where artificial intelligence fights artificial intelligence—and human beings are caught in between.

・・・

Cyberwarfare	サイバー戦争。国家間の対立においてサイバー攻撃を利用すること。
Security vulnerability	セキュリティ上の脆弱性。システムに存在する弱点。
Data breach	情報漏洩。機密情報や個人情報が不正に取得・流出すること。
Unauthorized access	不正アクセス。
State-sponsored cyberattack	国家が支援・関与するサイバー攻撃。
Counterfeit currency	偽造通貨、偽札。
Manifestation	表現型、現れ方。病理学でいう manifestation と同様のニュアンス。
Surpass human intelligence	人間の知能を超える。
Caught in the middle	争いや対立に巻き込まれる。
Artificial intelligence	人工知能。略称AI。

#Cyberwarfare #CyberSecurity #ArtificialIntelligence #AI #CyberAttacks #StateSponsoredHacking #DataBreach #DigitalWarfare #FutureOfWar #AIandSociety

Is This How Frailty Begins?

After six weeks of avoiding the stairs because of an Achilles tendon injury, I was surprised by how much strength I seemed to have lost. It made me think about how physical decline begins—and how small, everyday habits might help prevent frailty as we grow older.

Hospital ceilings may not look particularly high, but the distance between floors can be surprisingly large.

At the hospital where I work, the ceilings don't seem especially high. Yet climbing the stairs from the pathology department on the second floor to the doctors' offices on the fourth can feel like quite a chore, even though it's only two floors.

This probably isn't unique to hospitals. Modern buildings have plumbing, electrical wiring, and other infrastructure installed beneath the floors or above the ceilings, which adds to the distance between levels.

In office buildings, people generally rely on elevators. Hospitals, however, have substantial staircases.

Part of the reason may be the need to move patients during emergencies. But these staircases also allow doctors and nurses to get around without waiting for elevators that sometimes seem to take forever to arrive.

Even as a pathologist, I occasionally find myself rushing down the stairs when an unexpected request for an intraoperative frozen section diagnosis comes in while I'm eating lunch in the doctors' office. That happens a few times a year.

I used to take the stairs almost every time I went to the doctors' office or attended meetings.

But in early September, I injured my right Achilles tendon and had to start using a cane. Since then, I had been relying on the elevator.

After about six weeks, I finally became able to walk without a cane again this week.

Once that happened, I began feeling a little guilty about taking the elevator for just one floor, so I started using the stairs again.

But now, when I climb two floors, my legs feel tired.

It seems that my physical capacity has declined noticeably in just this short period.

That may also explain why I've gained some weight.

There's a Japanese saying that everything has its causes and consequences. Changes in our bodies, too, happen for reasons.

Of course, aging is something no living creature can escape. Age-related atherosclerosis and declining kidney function associated with hypertension are examples of physical changes that may develop as we grow older.

But we cannot simply blame everything on aging.

Obesity, lack of exercise, insufficient sleep, and irregular eating habits are all factors that leave room for improvement.

I would like to maintain as regular a lifestyle as possible to avoid these problems.

Organizing exercise groups for people of different ages is not easy.

In the end, the only way to prevent a decline in our own physical fitness is to keep moving our bodies ourselves.

For me, climbing the stairs seems to have played that role, modest as it may have been.

Because I couldn't use the stairs and had to rely on the elevator, my physical capacity declined more than I had imagined.

And this made me realize something: perhaps frailty develops in much the same way, through the gradual accumulation of seemingly minor periods of physical inactivity.

This isn't simply a matter of age.

Even young people lose muscle strength when an injury prevents them from being physically active, and recovering that strength takes time.

But the older we become, the harder it is to regain the strength we've lost.

That's why regular physical activity is so important.

The question is, how do we find the time for it?

In my case, finding extra time specifically for exercise is quite difficult.

So the answer may be as simple as taking the stairs every day.

Even such a small habit is something I need to keep up, one step at a time.

Perhaps preventing frailty begins not with a special exercise program, but with the simple decision to take the stairs.

・・・

Frailty	フレイル。加齢に伴い身体的・精神心理的・社会的な脆弱性が高まった状態。
Achilles tendon	アキレス腱。
Physical inactivity	身体活動の不足。単に運動をしないことだけでなく、日常的に身体を動かさないことも含む。
Physical capacity	身体能力・運動機能。筋力だけでなく持久力なども含む。
Intraoperative frozen section diagnosis	術中迅速病理診断。手術中に組織を急速凍結して診断する方法。
Atherosclerosis	動脈硬化。
One step at a time	一歩ずつ、着実に。階段を一段ずつ昇ることと、少しずつ努力を続けることを掛けた表現。

#Frailty #HealthyAging #PhysicalActivity #MuscleStrength #AchillesTendon #ExerciseHabits #PreventingFrailty #DailyLife #PathologistsLife #AgingWell

What I Should Have Aimed for Was Not the Thousand-Armed Kannon

After taking a summer vacation, a veteran pediatric pathologist finds himself overwhelmed with work. Reflecting on a career spent accepting almost every request, he begins to wonder whether he should have devoted himself more deeply to a single specialty rather than trying to do everything.

Whenever I take a summer vacation, I eventually have to make up for the time away. As a result, the past two days have been extraordinarily busy, and today will probably be no different.

At what we call a high-volume center, it is not just the number of patients that is demanding. Many of the cases are also diagnostically challenging. In other words, difficult cases tend to be referred to such hospitals, creating challenges quite different from those faced by hospitals that mainly deal with common diseases.

Apparently, simply working at a specialized hospital for many years is enough for people to regard you as an expert. At my age, this means being asked not only to provide consultations but also to take on various responsibilities for academic societies.

These obligations can be an enormous nuisance. On the other hand, without them, I might find myself with too much time on my hands and nothing meaningful to do. So my feelings are rather mixed.

Perhaps I enjoy being in the spotlight. Or perhaps I have simply followed too faithfully my late father's motto: "Never turn down work that comes your way." Whatever the reason, whenever someone asks me to do something, I tend to accept.

In a sense, perhaps that is rather irresponsible.

The positive side is that it has given me a wide range of experiences. But I am not even particularly versatile, so I can hardly call myself a jack-of-all-trades. Even now, I feel that I have never quite managed to concentrate my work on what I truly wanted to pursue.

From the outside, I suppose I would be described as a pathologist specializing in pediatric and perinatal pathology. But those few words cover an extraordinarily broad field.

When I was younger, I thought I could do just about anything, like the thousand-armed Kannon, the Buddhist bodhisattva of compassion, depicted with countless arms reaching out to help those in need.

But no matter how many hands one has, there is a limit to what each individual hand can accomplish.

Looking back now, I wonder whether what I should have aimed for was not to become like the thousand-armed Kannon, but rather to devote myself deeply to one particular field and truly master it.

Then again, it seems rather questionable for someone who is supposed to be an expert, and who is now approaching retirement, to be saying such things.

I have gradually begun entrusting more of my responsibilities to younger pathologists around me. Yet that, too, leaves me feeling a little lonely.

I suppose I really am rather selfish.

Perhaps the hardest part of growing older is learning to let go of the things we once insisted on doing ourselves.

・・・

high-volume center	多数の症例を扱う高度専門医療施設
diagnostically challenging	診断が難しい、診断上の課題が多い
academic societies	学会、学術団体
an enormous nuisance	面倒なことこの上ない
have mixed feelings	複雑な心境である
enjoy being in the spotlight	目立つことが好きである
jack-of-all-trades	何でも屋、多芸な人。「器用貧乏」の比喩
devote oneself to	〜に専念する、打ち込む
truly master	本当に究める、熟達する
entrust responsibilities to	仕事や責任を他者に任せる

#Pathology #PediatricPathology #MedicalCareer #LifeReflections #CareerReflection #WorkLifeBalance #Retirement #Buddhism #ThousandArmedKannon #JapaneseCulture

I'm Not the Only One Who Doesn't Really Know

We all have doubts about ourselves, no matter how confident we may appear. Even the world's most powerful leaders may not fully understand the consequences of their decisions. Perhaps admitting that we don't have all the answers isn't such a bad thing after all.

I have rather low self-esteem, and I rarely feel confident about anything I do.

Whatever the task, I'm simply relieved when it's over without any major problems.

Even then, I keep dwelling on what I should have done differently, thinking, "I should have done this," or "I should have done that."

I don't suppose anyone seriously evaluates what I do anyway. But then again, I'm not even sure whether my work can be evaluated objectively in the first place. So perhaps it can't be helped.

Even examinations don't necessarily measure intelligence accurately.

Except for a tiny handful of people at the very top, I sometimes feel that test-taking skills matter more than natural intelligence.

There are no absolutely reliable standards for evaluating people.

In the end, I really don't know whether what I'm doing is right, or whether it deserves recognition.

Surely I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Everyone must live with some degree of uncertainty and anxiety.

Even those who proudly claim to have no such worries may simply be compensating for their insecurities in one way or another.

Perhaps human beings don't even know exactly how much they really understand.

What made me think about this was a news report I saw yesterday concerning the war in Ukraine. According to the report, the Russian president had proposed a meeting with the leaders of China and the United States.

Perhaps he imagines himself recreating the Yalta Conference, suggesting that the leaders of the world's three major powers should get together and decide what to do.

Unlike World War II, however, the war in Ukraine began with Russia's invasion of a neighboring country. Surely it is not something that the great powers have any right to settle among themselves while leaving Ukraine out of the discussion.

Of course, in today's globalized world, such a conflict can no longer remain a matter between just two countries.

Perhaps Russia is growing frustrated with the seemingly endless stalemate and is desperately searching for a way out.

But what was the war supposed to achieve in the first place? And what kind of ending did its leaders originally envision?

This is hardly limited to Ukraine.

When I look at the conflicts involving Iran and the United States, Israel and Palestine, and various other international disputes, I sometimes wonder whether the people governing these countries really understand what consequences their decisions will bring.

Of course, they must have access to enormous amounts of information that someone like me could never hope to obtain. They also receive advice from experts who are supposed to be highly capable.

But even so, they cannot see the future.

They may appear to make decisions with a complete understanding of the situation, but perhaps they are actually just feeling their way forward through uncertainty.

And their decisions must involve all sorts of considerations, not only national interests but also their own political positions, reputations, personal interests, and ambitions.

Driven by these invisible anxieties and desires, they keep taking one action after another.

Yet perhaps even they don't really understand what they are doing.

When I think of it that way, my own lack of confidence seems rather insignificant, almost endearing.

After all, I'm just an ordinary person, still worrying about all sorts of trivial things and never quite feeling confident about what I've accomplished in life.

I'm not the only one who doesn't really know.

If everyone is more or less in the same boat, perhaps I don't need to keep looking down on myself simply because I lack confidence.

Perhaps not having all the answers is no reason to think less of myself.

・・・

low self-esteem	自己肯定感が低い。自分自身の価値を低く評価すること。
dwell on something	過去の失敗や後悔などを、いつまでもくよくよ考える。
natural intelligence	地頭の良さ、生来の知的能力。
compensate for one's insecurities	自分の不安や自信のなさを、別の行動や態度で埋め合わせる。
the Yalta Conference	ヤルタ会談。1945年2月、米英ソの首脳が戦後秩序を協議した会談。
stalemate	膠着状態。戦争や交渉が行き詰まり、進展しないこと。
feel one's way forward	手探りで進む。確かな見通しがないまま慎重に行動する。
in the same boat	同じ境遇にある、似たような問題を抱えている。
think less of myself	自分を低く評価する、自分を卑下する。

#SelfEsteem #SelfDoubt #HumanNature #Uncertainty #WorldPolitics #UkraineWar #SelfReflection #PersonalEssay #LifeThoughts #こんな気持ちでいられたら #自己肯定感 #人生を考える

Monday Again, After Two Weeks

 

After an international conference in Fukuoka and a belated summer vacation in Karuizawa, I'm finally back to my usual Monday routine. With a busy week ahead, an overflowing inbox, and plenty of work waiting for me, it's time to get back into work mode.

Another beautiful morning, with clear skies and sunshine.

The temperature in Tokyo is expected to reach around 25°C by midday.

After experiencing the crisp autumn air in Karuizawa last week, my body has already adjusted to autumn. But when it comes to clothing, I still need something suitable for both summer and fall.

Last Monday was Sports Day, a national holiday in Japan, and I was attending an international conference in Fukuoka.

So this is my first regular working Monday in two weeks.

I tend to pack my Mondays with all sorts of tasks, so they are always busy, and the day seems to fly by.

That's why I decided to catch a train one departure earlier than usual this morning.

Even so, looking around, the train is still quite crowded.

It's the same familiar morning commute as always.

Although I don't have any conferences or other events where I'm scheduled to give a presentation this week, I still have several clinical conferences and online meetings to attend.

I also need to make progress on preparations for a medical conference coming up in February.

But before any of that, the first thing I'll have to do when I arrive at the hospital is tackle the mountain of work emails that must have piled up during my absence.

I suppose I'd better get myself into work mode and stay focused.

After all, I don't want to find myself dozing off just because I got up a little earlier than usual!

Time to get back into work mode—and make sure I stay awake!

・・・

get back into work mode	仕事モードに戻る、気持ちを仕事に切り替える
a belated summer vacation	少し遅れた夏休み
crisp autumn air	ひんやりと爽やかな秋の空気
adjust to autumn	秋の気候に体が慣れる
Sports Day	スポーツの日。日本の国民の祝日。旧称は体育の日
pack one's schedule with	予定をぎっしり詰め込む
the day flies by	一日があっという間に過ぎる
one departure earlier than usual	いつもより一本早い電車で
the same familiar morning commute	いつもと変わらない、見慣れた通勤風景
make progress on	～を進める、進展させる
tackle a mountain of emails	山積みになったメールを片づける
pile up	積み重なる、溜まる
doze off	うとうとする、居眠りする

#MondayMorning #BackToWork #MorningCommute #TokyoLife #LifeInJapan #AfterVacation #AutumnInJapan #WorkingLife #MedicalConference #DailyReflections