So Many Things to Worry About — Planning a Conference Still Halfway There

 The conference has not even begun, yet much of next year’s program is already taking shape.
Planning it has reminded me how many decisions—and uncertainties—lie behind what eventually appears as a simple schedule.

 

One could say it has not even started yet, but the program for next year’s conference is already beginning to take shape.

In the end, everything comes down to what topics are chosen and who is invited to speak.

The process starts with deciding on the theme, which is not as easy as it sounds.
As someone specializing in a niche field—pediatric and perinatal pathology—it is not always appropriate to focus solely on that area. The program must also appeal to those working in adult pathology; otherwise, overall participation may decline.

Once the theme is set, it needs to be broken down into more specific topics.
Simply listing general presentations would certainly be easier, but that would defeat the purpose of organizing the meeting myself.

After defining the topics, the next step is selecting the speakers.

This conference has a long history, and this will be its 24th meeting.
Inevitably, there is a need for generational renewal, and we must identify and encourage those who will lead the field in the future. This, too, is not straightforward.

When I was young—just an unknown newcomer—I was given opportunities to present by senior colleagues, almost against my will. Thanks to them, I can now present myself as something of a specialist.
That said, not everyone wants such opportunities.

Most people are nervous at first, and many eventually get used to it.
Still, some feel uncomfortable speaking in public or believe they lack sufficient experience. From my perspective, that hesitation often feels like a missed opportunity, but it is not something that can be forced.

On the other hand, inviting well-known experts often leads to scheduling conflicts.
They are not celebrities, of course, but conferences tend to cluster in certain seasons, making coordination surprisingly difficult.

At present, about 80% of the speakers have been decided, and the next step is to determine how the meeting will be run.
There have been requests for a hybrid format, which will inevitably require a larger budget.

We could outsource the organization to a professional conference company, but that would come at a significant cost.
In the end, it will likely be a “handmade” meeting.

Although the conference will host just over a hundred participants in a highly specialized field, it still means being entrusted with the valuable time of each attendee. That is not something to take lightly.

Even if we say we are halfway there, much remains to be done—finalizing the program, arranging staff for the day, and more.
Concerns continue to arise one after another, making the road ahead feel long.

For now, I am handling most of the preparations alone, but there is no point in complaining.
A conference only succeeds because of those who participate and those who support it.

I must not forget that.

I will simply continue the preparations, one step at a time.

 

I will proceed with the preparations quietly and steadily. 

 

The Plane Tree of Hippocrates: A Legacy Tree, Memory, and the Passage of Time

 A small, almost unnoticeable bloom on a plane tree brings back memories of my father, a house long gone, and a quiet question about what it means for a living thing to find its place.

 

The flowers of the plane tree (Platanus) have begun to bloom.

They are so small that it is hard to tell whether they are flowers or still buds, but they are probably flowers.

 

It has been about five years since the tree was transplanted from my father’s vacation home to our garden.

In the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, my father passed away. Unable to maintain the property, my mother decided to sell the house. At that time, she asked me:

“This tree was given to your father as a descendant of the tree of Hippocrates. Could you take care of it?”

That is how I came to accept it.

At first, I was surprised by the sheer number of its large leaves. But over time, I have grown accustomed to them.

This winter, my wife noticed that it had borne fruit.

They were small and charming—perfect, I thought, for decorating a Christmas wreath. I hadn’t even known that plane trees produced fruit. Perhaps this means the tree has finally settled into its new home. I look forward to observing its flowers properly this year.

 

The “tree of Hippocrates” is said to be the very tree under which the great physician Hippocrates taught his disciples. Saplings from that tree have been propagated around the world, and one of them eventually came into my father’s hands.

Receiving such a large tree is not simple—one must have space to plant it. My father struggled with what to do and initially considered donating it to the general hospital where he had worked for many years. But the offer was politely declined.

With no better option, he planted it at his vacation home. Yet no one lives longer than a tree, and so it has now come to us.

Across Japan, many Somei Yoshino cherry trees planted during the period of rapid economic growth have grown old, and reports of fallen trees are becoming more frequent.

It is unfortunate, and somehow it seems to mirror the gradual decline of Japan’s economy. In Kamakura as well, many cherry trees have aged—some have had their upper branches cut, others have been felled entirely. It is a painful sight.

Cherry trees are said to live for 60 to 80 years. If that is true, then by the time I die, most of the cherry trees around here—except for the recently replanted ones along Dankazura—will likely be gone.

Plane trees, on the other hand, seem to live much longer. This tree will probably outlive me by far.

Thanks in part to my wife’s yearly efforts to protect it from wood-boring insects, it has managed to survive.

Still, I sometimes wonder—having come to live with us, is this tree truly happy? 

Of course, I hope it is.

What will happen to it after I am gone is not something I can control.
But trees, too, have their own lives.

I only hope it will be allowed to live out its natural span.

 All I can do is hope that it will be allowed to live out its natural life.

Another Bookstore Gone

Cherry blossoms have already passed their peak, and fresh green leaves are beginning to show. As petals drift through the air, my dog Anne seems to think treats are falling from the sky, leaping with quiet delight.

 

The bookstore in the concourse of the terminal station I pass through on my commute quietly disappeared at the end of the last fiscal year.

I used to stop by to kill time between trains—flipping through books that caught my eye, and occasionally buying one if it truly appealed to me. There was a quarterly magazine for retriever lovers, and whenever its release approached, I would find myself wandering the shelves in anticipation.

 

For me, the closure came rather suddenly.
Perhaps there had been notices.
Perhaps I had simply failed to notice, having stopped going as often as before.

If I had known it would come to this, I might have made a point of buying a book every week or two, as I once did, to support the place. But that is, of course, too late now.

A bookstore is a place that sells knowledge.
Knowledge recorded on paper.

No matter how refined the binding or design may be, at its core a book is simply pages of printed words bound together. Its essential value lies in the knowledge it contains.

 

Of course, there are other qualities one might attribute to books, but fundamentally, what gives value to the medium of paper is what is written within it.

One of my favorite large bookstores was located on the top floor of a commercial complex.

It may be a naive assumption, but I suspect the bookstore itself was meant to be the main attraction—drawing customers up to the highest floor, and then guiding them downward through the rest of the building.

And yet, I too had gradually stopped visiting it.

Until just a few years ago, I would make a detour to stop by. Now, I simply pass it without a thought.

When reading a book, one must first confront its thickness.

A thin book can be finished in a day or two, making it easy to approach. But when it comes to authors like Haruki Murakami, or works like Les Misérables, or even the densely printed texts of Milan Kundera, it requires a certain resolve.

And yet, I find that I no longer have that kind of energy.

Instead, I skim short columns on my smartphone, gaining a vague sense of understanding and moving on.

As I have mentioned before, our personal time is steadily being taken away.

Printed books, in particular, stand at a clear disadvantage before the smartphone.

And so, another bookstore has disappeared.

What unsettles me most is that I find myself accepting this fact as if it were someone else’s problem.

 

And perhaps what troubles me most is how easily I accept it as someone else’s problem.

 

Why Do Wars Start—and Why Do They Never End?

 As spring quietly turns toward early summer in Kamakura, the beauty of the season stands in sharp contrast to the ongoing conflicts around the world. Watching the news each morning, one cannot help but ask: why do wars begin, and why do they never seem to end?

The song of the bush warbler has grown more refined.

At Tsurugaoka Hachimangu Shrine, the cherry blossoms have already become a drifting carpet on the water.

Hints of summer are in the air, and the season is steadily moving from spring toward early summer.

 

And yet, the attacks on Iran by the United States and Israel show no sign of subsiding.
The situation only grows more complex, and concerns over energy security continue to rise.

It is often said that the wealthy do not fight, and one might think that an oil-producing nation like Iran would have little reason to engage in war.
Yet, a series of circumstances must have accumulated to bring things to this point.

Gaza, Ukraine, and now Iran—
each time images of war appear on the screen, I am struck by their futility.

When I see cities reduced to rubble, transformed into something far removed from their original purpose, I cannot help but feel that this is all profoundly wasteful.

Those who initiate wars pursue their ideals, even at the cost of soldiers’ lives.
Perhaps they do so in the belief that they are seeking some form of human happiness.

But can war truly bring happiness?

 

In the long history of humanity, has there ever been a war that genuinely led to happiness?
Someone is always hurt, lives are lost, and what remains in the end are devastated cities.

What, then, is reconstruction for?

Why do humans wage war?
And why does it never disappear?

I find myself unable to explain this deeply contradictory aspect of human behavior.

Even as the seasons move gently forward, human history seems unable to do the same.
 

 

 

Thoughts in the Gentle Light of Spring

 A quiet spring day brings beauty to the eye—but not always clarity to the mind. Between blooming flowers and crowded streets, reflections on aging and uncertainty begin to surface.

 

The cherry blossoms in the mountains look beautiful from a distance.

When I went out for some shopping, Wakamiya Ōji was crowded with people.
Bringing Anne along may not have been the best idea.
Moments like this remind me that I’m glad she has been well trained.

 

At the entrance of our house, the blueberry bushes have begun to bloom with small white flowers.
It already feels like spring in full swing, and one would expect the season to lift the spirit.
Yet, much like today’s cloudy sky, there is a faint shadow hanging over my mind.

Various things weigh on me—
from the future of the world to my own later years.

 

Or rather, it is not simply “old age” that concerns me.
It is the process of growing older—the present moment—that feels unsettling.

The decline in physical strength is something I can clearly sense.
More than that, it is the gradual loss of mental sharpness that feels quietly disheartening.
I wonder how many more years I can rely on experience to compensate for it.

Still, there are many politicians older than I am,
and even those nearing eighty who continue to serve as presidents, making decisions that shape conflicts around the world.
Perhaps it is not something to dwell on too much.
In fact, it may be better not to think about age so much at all.

There are always things to worry about.
Perhaps it is even better that way—perhaps it would be more troubling if there were none.

Thoughts that come to mind on a gentle spring day
may ultimately be nothing more than fleeting, insubstantial reflections.

Perhaps these thoughts, drifting through a gentle spring day, are no more than passing fragments.
 

Am I Just Bad at Socializing?

 Lately, I’ve found myself going out for drinks less and less. It made me wonder whether I’ve simply become bad at socializing—or if something else has changed.

Recently, I rarely stay out late drinking anymore.

I still get invited occasionally, but I don’t always accept. When this happens repeatedly, I start to wonder if I’m just not good at socializing.

“Late,” in my case, only means around 10 p.m., but even then, if I’m drinking in Tokyo, I won’t get home until close to midnight.

There was a time when I was often the most enthusiastic drinker in the group, but lately that feels like too much trouble. It may simply be age, but more than that, I don’t find drinking out as enjoyable as I used to.

If that’s the case, I’d much rather have a drink at home after a bath, enjoying a meal prepared by my wife. It’s far more relaxing, and there’s no need to worry about getting home.

At the same time, I sometimes wonder whether avoiding social drinking means I’ve become too dependent on my wife. I even catch myself thinking about what I would do if she were no longer around.

Then again, she is younger than I am, so perhaps it’s not something I need to worry about just yet.

In the end, I think it’s enough to drink when I want to, with the people I want to be with. If they’re not available, then so be it.

There’s no need to worry about having only a few people to drink with.

When I look at it this way, maybe I am not good at socializing.
But even if that’s true, I’m not sure it really matters.

Human relationships are complicated.

 

Perhaps it’s not about being good or bad at socializing, but simply about knowing what feels right. 

 

Even a Fool Can Be Useful—But Only If Used Well

 With rain forecast to scatter the cherry blossoms from tomorrow, today may be the last chance to see them in Kamakura. Beneath a clear sky and lingering traces of last night’s full moon, the season seems to pause for a quiet farewell.

 

Rain is expected from tomorrow, the kind that gently strips the petals from the trees.
It seems likely that today will be the last chance to see the cherry blossoms in Kamakura.

Hints of fresh green have already begun to appear, and by the time the rain passes, the trees will probably have turned to leaves.

My wife and I walked along Dankazura together.

 

Last night, we admired the full moon.
This morning, we stood beneath cherry blossoms in full bloom under a clear sky.

Many people had come out, perhaps to take in the final view of the blossoms.
And with them came many dogs.

Among fellow dog owners, my wife seems to know nearly everyone in the neighborhood.
She remembers not only the dogs but also their names, which never fails to surprise me.

She has always had a talent for remembering people.
She probably knows a thousand times more names than I do.

It is a talent worthy of admiration.

You never quite know where a person’s abilities lie.
As for me, I have nothing particularly notable—perhaps only that I keep writing this blog every day.

 

But even talent depends on how it is used.
It can benefit others, or it can just as easily bring harm.

In medicine, for instance, someone who excels at surgery may not necessarily make a capable hospital director.
Likewise, a person skilled at writing papers may become a professor, yet fail ethically.

Most people, however, understand their own limits.
They settle somewhere appropriate and find a balance that fits them.

That may be enough in the context of running a hospital or conducting academic research.
But when it comes to politics, the scale is entirely different.

What we are witnessing around the world now may be a reflection of this—
people who are highly skilled in strategy and maneuvering, yet only second-rate as leaders.

We may tolerate certain scandals.
But starting wars is another matter entirely.

Human beings have been given the ability to talk, to negotiate.
To abandon that ability is, in a sense, a betrayal.

The spectacle we see reported day after day—
to think it may continue for another two and a half years is simply exhausting.

There is a saying: even a fool can be useful if handled well.

Perhaps even a questionable politician could keep things running with capable advisors.
But when such a person surrounds themselves only with yes-men and wields military power freely,
the world begins to look like a very fragile place.

 

Perhaps the problem is not the lack of talent, but how it is used. 

 

 

 

New Fiscal Year, A New Start in a New Workplace

In Japan, April marks the beginning of a new fiscal year—a time when many people start over in new workplaces. It is a different kind of “new beginning” from the New Year, quieter but no less significant.

 

Some time ago, the term “highly sensitive person” became something of a trend. It refers to individuals with a particularly strong sensitivity and responsiveness to their surroundings, and it is often said that about one in five people falls into this category.

Yet, things are not so simple. Some people may not appear sensitive at all but actually are, while others who seem sensitive may not be so in reality. Sensitivity, like many human traits, does not have a clear boundary. Rather, it exists along a continuum—a kind of gradient.

Moreover, what one is sensitive to differs from person to person. For that reason, it is difficult, if not impossible, to define precisely who is sensitive and to what degree.

With the start of the new fiscal year, many people begin life in new workplaces. Quite a number of new faces have joined my own workplace as well. Some have changed jobs, each for their own reasons.

Looking back on my own career, I realize that I have rarely moved positions out of a strong personal desire. That said, neither have I been entirely carried along against my will. In the end, I have simply managed to keep going.

Perhaps those in charge believe that I am placed where I fit best. At the same time, they must also know that there are always others who might be more capable. Human ability, too, exists on a gradient, without clear lines of division. Whether someone is “well-suited” for a role is not a fixed judgment, but something that depends on context.

Talent and temperament cannot be neatly defined. That is precisely why a stumble or two should not be cause for discouragement. One can simply pause, reconsider, and move forward in a different way.

This applies not only to those embarking on a new chapter, but also to someone like myself. Even now, I would like to begin this new fiscal year with that same quiet sense of resolve.

 

A new start does not belong only to the young. 

 

 

Every Day Feels Like April Fool’s

A quiet morning walk under cherry blossoms turns into a reflection on how “jokes” are no longer just jokes.

It was sunny in the morning.

We had already decided the night before to walk along Dankazura to see the cherry blossoms, so my wife—free from making lunch—woke up slowly and without hurry.

Anne, who hadn’t been able to go outside much because of the rain, seemed full of pent-up frustration and walked energetically.

A flat-coated retriever without energy would be worrying, so seeing her lively like this this morning felt just right—and comforting.

 

Today is April Fool’s Day.

As we grow older, we come to understand that even lies and jokes have boundaries—things that are acceptable, and things that are not.

But these days, what once would have been dismissed as a joke has become reality, and that feels strangely empty.

We live in a time when words like “Aliens will invade the Earth tomorrow,” once clearly absurd, are given a disturbing sense of reality—not by aliens, but by humans themselves.

And no one seems to have a way to stop it.

Before we knew it, we lost even the space to think of clever April Fool’s jokes. The world has become one where anything goes.

How long can we, as Japanese, continue to look away from reality?

 

Starting today, the prices of over 2,000 food items are said to rise.

Even that number sounds like an April Fool’s joke—but it is not.

Between a world damaged by nuclear weapons and one taken over by aliens, I am no longer sure which would be the better outcome.

It may no longer be a joke to say that this year’s cherry blossoms could be the last we ever see.

 

When reality begins to feel like a bad joke, even April Fool’s Day loses its meaning. 

Cherry Blossoms and a Dark World

 I decided to skip my usual lunch today and instead take a short cherry blossom walk on my way to the station, accompanied by my wife and Anne. With rain forecast for the next few days, it may well be the kind of rain that scatters the blossoms.

 

Cherry blossoms are, without question, both beautiful and fleeting.

Even though I remind myself of this every year, once the petals are gone, I seem to forget it all over again.

As we approached the second torii gate along the dankazura of Tsurugaoka Hachimangu, I began to feel raindrops on my cheek. I wondered whether my wife and Anne made it home without getting too wet.

 

The situation in the Middle East remains uncertain.

There was a time when U.S. intervention could bring a certain level of resolution, but today conflicts have grown far more complex, and quick conclusions are no longer possible.

Information flows from all sides, yet what is true is difficult to discern.

Thousands of lives have already been lost in Iran. These are lives that should never have been lost.

The same tragedy continues in Ukraine and Gaza.

Perhaps those we call “leaders” do not act solely out of their own will.

Various forces accumulate, becoming a pressure that is ultimately impossible to resist, leading to the final decision.

Whatever name we give to that structure, similar forces seem to exist everywhere, each moving in pursuit of its own interests.

And yet, the weight of the lives lost behind all of this is immeasurable.

Thinking about it, I cannot help but feel how difficult it is for human beings to make truly independent decisions.

At times, I even find myself wondering whether it might be better to entrust such decisions to something other than humans. But, of course, things are not so simple.

 

If only we could live like cherry blossoms—simply blooming, and simply falling.

But reality is not that simple.

Watching the first petals begin to scatter, I find myself feeling a quiet, lingering sadness.

 Even in full bloom, the world does not feel entirely bright.

New Season, Quiet Hope

 After a clear and sunny day yesterday, rain fell overnight, leaving a misty morning that feels like a quiet reset.

 

In contrast to yesterday’s bright daytime weather, it rained during the night, and this morning is wrapped in mist.

With the temperature already high, the rain feels like a welcome touch—just enough to refresh the air. It must have washed away the pollen as well.

It seems that the cedar pollen season is finally coming to an end. I have never checked formally, but I do not appear to have a cypress allergy, so I am hoping this marks the end of this year’s pollen troubles.

The fiscal year will end in just a day or two.

Yesterday, I hosted friends for a cherry blossom gathering, and while a bit of pleasant fatigue lingers, it was a refreshing break.

In any case, the end of pollen season is something to be grateful for.

A new fiscal year is about to begin.

The news has already begun to reflect changes in personnel, and there will likely be many shifts in roles in the days ahead.

Farewells are always a little sad, but new encounters bring their own quiet anticipation.

 

Between endings and beginnings, the air itself seems to change.