When Small Things Start to Irritate Me

 Lately, I find myself getting irritated over things that shouldn’t matter.
I know they are trivial. I know they will pass.
And yet, the irritation lingers, and I can’t quite explain why.

 

These days, I get irritated by small things more often than I used to.

I’m not sure why.
It could be the sheer volume of work, the constant noise of an upcoming general election with the same faces and voices repeated every day, or simply the cold weather. 

I honestly don’t know.

Poor manners on trains or careless driving are typical examples.
There is no point in getting upset over them, and I know that.
But once I start noticing such things, the irritation gradually builds.

Even if I say something, it will likely be ignored.
After all, they are strangers, and it is none of my business.
I should just let that moment pass. Getting angry serves no purpose.

If I could truly think, “People are people,” I should be able to let it go.
Yet somehow, I can’t.

They are not invading my personal space or disrupting my life in any real way.
They are simply doing something that catches my attention at the edge of my vision.
It isn’t illegal. It isn’t forbidden. In principle, they are free to do as they like.

As I write this, I keep asking myself why, again and again.
But the answer doesn’t come easily.

Thoughts and emotions always have their roots within oneself.
And yet, I cannot clearly identify the pattern behind this irritation.

I know that somewhere deep down, there is an idea of how people “should” behave.
I also know that I am not free from hypocrisy, judging others while overlooking myself.

Even so, the question remains:
Why do I get so irritated over such trivial things?

At the very least, I know this much.
Such feelings are unproductive and can become a burden not only to myself but also to those around me.
So for now, I will try to be more conscious of my words and actions.

Speaking Freely Is Also a Way of Living

 In politics, speech can be a double-edged sword.
Words that come too quickly may unsettle markets and people alike, while words that are weighed too carefully can leave a country frozen in place.

Watching political leaders today, I find myself wondering where the balance truly lies—and how that question reflects not only on governments, but on the way each of us chooses to live and speak.

 

 

What should we expect from political speech?
Carefully deliberated statements, or words delivered decisively, even at the risk of controversy?

Too much deliberation can turn leaders into statues—immobile, silent, and ineffective.
Too little, and words alone can send people, markets, and entire systems into confusion.
In fields like finance or national defense, either extreme can be dangerous. Yet there is no rule that says leadership must choose only one approach.

Ultimately, voters decide what kind of leadership they accept—and must live with the consequences of that choice.

Looking at the current U.S. administration under Donald Trump, it is not always clear which side it falls on.
Policy announcements appear rapid and relentless, but they may still be the product of careful calculation. Or perhaps, in moments of national decision-making, clarity and speed matter more than exhaustive deliberation.

Similar questions arise elsewhere.
Japan’s Prime Minister Sanae Takaichihas made remarks on Taiwan and currency policy that stirred debate. These comments likely rest on her long-held views, even if they strike listeners as abrupt.

Thinking about this brings me back to myself.

When I was younger, I spoke too freely.
That made me seem amusing to some—and deeply offensive to others.
Even now, I occasionally regret words that escape before reflection has caught up. I remind myself often to be more careful.

And yet, when I look honestly at my own habits, I realize something: the words that slip out most easily are not random. They reflect, in the end, my underlying view of life.

I tend not to overthink.
I speak what I believe, openly and directly.
If that is called being “loose-tongued,” then so be it. It is simply how I live, and it is not easily changed.

This blog is no different.
I write here every day, recording whatever comes to mind. There is no grand theory behind it.
For academic papers or conference presentations, I choose my words carefully and deliberately. This space serves another purpose.

In an age where blogs, conversations, and social media blur into one continuous stream of speech, the distinction may not matter much anyway.

Whether this article is right or wrong is beside the point.
Thinking, writing, and speaking daily—this too is part of my way of living.

One difference remains: blog posts can be revised.
Everyday conversation cannot.

That is something I should probably keep in mind.

Kindness Is Never Wasted

I had been struggling with the selection of speakers for an academic meeting.
After finally consulting a senior colleague, the situation now seems likely to be resolved.

Perhaps I should have asked for advice earlier.
Still, having wrestled with the problem on my own made me appreciate the help all the more.

 

I am regularly invited to give talks as a guest speaker at several study meetings.

There are certainly many people who are far more capable than I am, and who know much more than I do.
And yet, I continue to be invited.

I am not entirely sure how useful I am to others, but for my part, I learn something every time.
For that, I am deeply grateful.

Of course, the help I receive is not limited to my professional life.
At many moments and in many situations, I am supported by different people.

I recently wrote an article saying something like, “I am who I am thanks to everyone around me.”
The fact that I find myself writing about the same thing again today suggests that I may have begun to forget that gratitude, even if only a little.

I need to be careful.

There is a Japanese saying that kindness is never for the benefit of the recipient alone.
I hope that I, too, can remain—however modestly—within that ongoing cycle of kindness.

A Week of Mental Pause

 

Yesterday, I cast my early vote.
From that moment on, my single choice was sealed inside a ballot box for a week—out of reach, and out of my hands. 

 

Yesterday, I completed my early voting.
My single vote for the future government was locked away in the ballot box, where it will remain for a week.

Once that happens, my actions can no longer influence the outcome.
And with that realization, my interest in the election itself drops sharply.

The morning news I usually keep on as a kind of clock has now been replaced by campaign broadcasts.
Until last week, I let them play in the background without much thought.
This morning, I turned them off and switched instead to the noisy, restless chatter of commercial TV news.

The forecasts suggest a victory for the Liberal Democratic Party and Ishin, along with continued struggles for the political center.
That seems about right.

From here on, I will be extremely busy for a while.
I do not have the time—or the mental space—to dwell on politics.
Instead, I will use that time for myself.

Today, the first task is simple:
making a to-do list.

The Present, Where Past and Future Meet — Plans Still Undecided

Time moves on, whether we are ready or not.
As memories quietly compress into the past and the future remains uncertain, all that truly exists is the present — fleeting, fragile, and strangely powerful.

 

It is already February.

Time moves quickly again this year.

The fact that my younger brother passed away in December feels like something from the distant past.
The same is true of my trip to New York over the year-end holidays.

January was full of events, but in the end, all of them have been compressed into the past, leaving only the present.

Yes, the past exists as the past, the present exists as the present, and ahead of us lies only the future.
The point where they meet is the present — and in the very next moment, that present becomes part of the past.

Today, I went to cast my early vote.

My future is sealed inside the ballot box, yet that future will not be revealed until a week from now.
Situations like this occur from time to time in the world.

Even when we make plans for the future, those plans remain, by definition, undecided.
When I stop and think about it, it is a rather curious thing.

Perhaps only humans reflect on such matters.

Other animals likely spend little time thinking about the future — or do they?
If only I could ask them.

In any case, enough pondering.
Tomorrow, it is time to return to work and do my best once again.

A World You Shouldn’t Wander Into Just for Fun

 I took Anne, our flat-coated retriever, to a dog show today.
It was an experience that opened my eyes—not so much to competition, but to how deep and demanding a seemingly casual world can be.

 

During the New Year holidays, while we were away in New York, Anne stayed with her breeder—the place she was born.
After we returned, the breeder invited us to enter Anne in a dog show. Apparently, “enter” is the correct term.

We left home long before sunrise and drove a long way to the venue.
The site was in the mountains, and the temperature was minus five degrees Celsius.

Despite the cold, the parking lot was already full—cars, and dogs everywhere.
Some breeds I had never seen before.

What surprised me most was the scale of preparation.
Many people had brought not just crates, but large tents. Everyone was busy grooming their dogs.
Among them were people who looked like professional groomers.

The breeder herself had entered dogs in shows before, but she did not seem particularly experienced.
In the end, Anne was handed over to a handler she knew.

Later, I learned that most handlers there were professionals.
That explained why I kept seeing the same people walking different dogs again and again.
I had seen similar scenes on YouTube, so perhaps this is simply how dog shows work.

Anne, who was clearly not “show-trained,” returned with what was almost a disqualifying score.
The moment she came back, she buried her face into our chests.
She must have been extremely tense.

Once we got back to the car, she collapsed, completely exhausted.

What struck me was not only the number of dogs, but the sheer number of people involved—owners, trainers, handlers.
And the size of the caravan that supported them.

There were license plates from central Japan, even from the Kansai region.

All I could think was: this is impressive.
A dog show may seem trivial, but it clearly is not.

Every world has its own depth.

 

And this one, I felt, is not where I belong.
Before being pulled any further into it, it would be wiser to step back.

I enjoy playing with Anne, and I have been teaching her a bit of agility.
But even there, I think it’s best not to go too deep.

 

Not Becoming a “Signboard Only” Professional

 

I am a doctor—though as a pathologist, my work is evaluated quite differently from that of clinicians.

Still, when I look at medicine as a profession, I am constantly struck by how wide the differences in individual ability really are.

 

It goes without saying that doctors cannot be treated as a single, uniform group.

Passing the national medical examination is only the starting point. After that, career paths diverge endlessly: internal medicine, surgery, obstetrics, pediatrics, pathology. Some move into basic research; others into government or administration. Even within the same specialty, areas of expertise differ—and within those, there are doctors who are highly skilled, and those who are not.

I work at a specialized hospital and have spent many years in this particular field. I am approaching retirement now, which means I have been involved in this discipline for more than thirty years.

Within this field, I am regarded—at least formally—as a specialist. Even so, there are many moments when I feel I can no longer keep up. There are countless individuals far more capable than I am, and I often find myself thinking that had they been in my place, they might have contributed far more to the advancement of medicine.

Even now, I still frequently seek advice from senior pathologists. It feels humbling—sometimes even embarrassing—but it remains necessary. At my current hospital, I have managed to work hard enough not to lose the trust of clinicians. Still, I can sense that I am nearing my own limits.

This is not something unique to medicine. It applies to all professions.

A profession is, in a sense, a signboard. Anyone who carries one must be careful not to become a “signboard only” figure—someone whose title outweighs their substance. I do not need to be a showpiece, but I would like, at the very least, to remain someone who can stand at the entrance without shame.

In the upcoming general election, it seems that several candidates with medical licenses are running for office. There are no qualifications required to become a politician. Anyone can run; those who win become lawmakers, and those who lose return to being private citizens.

There are limited ways to judge what such candidates truly stand for. That is why I want to listen carefully—to campaign speeches, to policy statements—and cast my vote only after considering whether their signboard reflects reality. I do not want to lose that discernment, even at the ballot box.