It has been almost three weeks since I injured my right Achilles tendon while rushing to catch a train at Kamakura Station. The pain has eased, but walking is still not quite normal, and I have started using a cane again. It certainly helps—not only physically, but also by letting people around me know that I have trouble walking. Yet as I recover, I have begun to feel a strange sense of guilt about relying on it.
It was September 1 when I suddenly broke into a run at Kamakura Station, trying not to miss the Yokosuka Line, and injured my right Achilles tendon. So it has been almost three weeks now.
Looking back, I suppose I was fortunate that it did not actually rupture, but the damage seems to have been fairly substantial, and I still have some difficulty walking.
For the first few days, there seemed to be some bruising, and the swelling was quite severe.
The pain has eased considerably, but the area is still visibly a little swollen. Running—even just a short jog—is clearly still out of the question. Long walks also seem difficult.
I can stand on tiptoe using both feet, but doing it on my right foot alone is still impossible.
I want to take things slowly and give my leg time to recover, but if I avoid using it too much, I can feel myself losing muscle strength.
Perhaps I should go to the gym and do some machine-based training, but even that feels like too much trouble.
Once people get used to a lower level of activity, they adapt to it remarkably quickly.
I had stopped using my cane for a while, but then I found that walking through stations became difficult again.
I cannot walk briskly. I am slow to begin with, and if I put my foot down at the wrong angle, I suddenly get a sharp pain.
So I have gone back to using the cane.
One of the benefits of a cane is that, in addition to giving physical support, it lets people around you know that you have difficulty walking.
That is, in fact, extremely helpful.
Recently, however, I have become able to walk longer distances without it, and that has brought with it a slight sense of guilt.
If I manage to stand in the right position, I can avoid putting much strain on my Achilles tendon, so I can actually stand on the train without too much trouble.
Even so, when I have a cane, I can sit in a priority seat without hesitation, and I find myself naturally heading toward the part of the train where those seats are located.
Then I start wondering whether there might be someone else who needs that seat more than I do.
I have sometimes thought that if I really want to sit down, I could just take the Green Car or even a taxi.
But I cannot afford to indulge in that kind of luxury every time.
I certainly do not feel like paying close to a thousand yen just for a short train ride.
In the end, if someone comes along who needs the seat more than I do, I can simply give it up.
The more I use a cane, the more I appreciate its benefits. At the same time, I sometimes wonder whether taking advantage of those benefits amounts to abusing them.
Of course, my leg still hurts, and I still walk slowly, so it is not really abuse.
Perhaps I am simply making things harder for myself by thinking of it that way.
I am old enough now that I should probably stop rushing things and make sure the injury heals properly.
Even professional athletes sometimes return before an injury has fully healed, only to make things worse. In some cases, it can even shorten their careers.
And I am not a professional athlete at all.
I am just an ordinary middle-aged guy.
Fortunately, a holiday begins tomorrow, so for a while I will be free from commuting by train.
For now, I think I will rely on my cane as much as I need to and make sure I finally let this injury heal properly.
Sometimes accepting a little help is part of getting better.
・・・
#AchillesTendon #WalkingWithACane #Recovery #GettingOlder #EverydayThoughts #Kamakura #JapanesePathologist
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