My world does not revolve around me all by itself

When I came home last night, I found a wreath my wife had made hanging on the gate.
I felt the time fly by as I thought about the preparations for Christmas, but I suspect it is not just a matter of age.
I got a lot of work done yesterday.
It was good that I did not have much routine work to do.
I was also able to make progress on administrative work and conference-related tasks with the help of others.
The revised second edition is now in the final stages of publication and I am nervous.
It is a medical book in a minor field, so it will not sell as well, but I hope it will sell as well as the first edition.

In the evening I have dinner with a friend from medical school.
I thought we might go to a bar somewhere, but he suggested Nakamuraya in Shinjuku, where we reminisced over beer and oyster curry.
I hadn't seen him for more than 30 years since I left university, but I felt comfortable talking to him because we had kept in touch through social networking sites.
And although he does not read my blog these days, he was once an avid reader of this blog and often commented on it.
Once, when I was whining about not being able to continue blogging, he encouraged me by saying "continuity is strength" and helped me get through a crisis. Day, a week after returning to (almost) daily updates 04/03/2017)
There was so much I wanted to talk about, but we both had the next day, so we broke up easily, and if you really want to talk, you can put it in the messenger or whatever.

Not that there was anything big going on, but everyone was very important.
The fact that everything went smoothly (or so it seemed) was not due to my own efforts alone.
I may be the star of my own life, but at least I am not running the show alone, I think after one night.

When did the world become a means to an end?

The sun rises around 6:30 a.m. and it's getting harder and harder to get up.
I have a runny nose, but I'm not sure if it's from last night's cold or if I caught it from my son who stayed overnight.
I put on a mask and got on the train, and by the time I got to the hospital it was better.
I heard that the cold that I had until yesterday was getting better.
I am relieved because I don't want it to get too cold too soon.

I would like to stay home except for work, but that is not going to happen.
I have to commute to work and I have to go shopping.
I have to use public transportation or a car to get around, but it seems that more and more people around me are rough around the edges.
Perhaps I make others feel that way in no small way, so I want to be careful.
Is it because of my biological decline that I feel this way, or is it because of the transformation of society?

What I feel most strongly about the transformation of society is the growing inequality of money.
I feel that this undermines people's minds and makes their hearts rough.
It is inevitable that money is the most important thing in life, but people no longer choose the means to get it.

It has been a long time since classic fraud and thievery became oleore fraud and appointment robbery.
When I see or hear about special scams committed by organizations like companies, I wish they would work hard at a legitimate job to pay for it, but I guess that is not possible.
Recently, there has been a problem of women prostituting themselves in host clubs to pay off their debts, which also seems to be a kind of scam.

Well, in some countries, stolen crypto assets are being used to fund huge amounts of money for missile development, so perhaps the disappearance of ethical values is already happening all over the world.
Considering the colonial rule that Britain and other European countries once exercised over the world, it may be that this was also an extremely irrational grab for wealth, and that the use of any means to get money has been going on for a long time.

A Sense of Contribution to the Nation as Reflected in North Korea's Missile Launch

The mornings are similar.
The social situation is the same, there's nothing to talk about domestically, the situation in Palestine and Gaza is in a stalemate, and I don't know what's going on in Ukraine.
I feel that Putin and Xi Jinping are not as exposed in the media as they used to be, is it because they are actually hiding in the shadows or because of NHK?

I wanted to check out the third school right away, but then I decided to take the night off to cool off because I wasn't sure what to do about the lesion that is so difficult to interpret.
Last night, just as the evening drama was starting, it was interrupted by a J-Alert at 10:46 p.m. due to a North Korean missile launch.
It was a good nuisance, and I couldn't sleep for a while because my eyes were so glassy.
I wonder when the replay will be on.

At that time, a picture of a North Korean crowd applauding and banzaiing was broadcast.
I wondered how those people felt when they did that.
If I were in Japan, I would think I could never imitate them, but there (in North Korea) they must be doing it very hard and risking their lives.

The ruler or rulers and the rest of the people.
What is the difference?
What you can't or won't do, you make others do.
This may be one of the schemes of the position of the ruler and the ruled, but in the extreme case it is to make them kill each other as a war.
What kind of mindset does one have when working for a master (i.e., ruler)?
How do warriors in the Warring States period, soldiers sent to fight in two world wars, or enthusiastic people in North Korea feel when they go there and do their "work"?

I do not have a strong sense of belonging to an organization (my current employer).
When I was young, I was proud of the pathology department at my university and tried my best to live up to its name.
However, as I moved away from there, my sense of belonging to the department diminished considerably.
As I changed jobs several times, I began to feel that the other side did not think as much of me as I thought they did, because of the dry way they cut ties with me as soon as I left.
Now I only feel a loose relationship with them as a place where I can simply be of service to patients as a pathologist.
Of course, I do what I can as a member of the organization because I do not want to cause trouble for my employer.
I should be thankful that I have the freedom to think objectively about how I can contribute to the nation and the organization as a member.

Happy emails make me happy.

The cold weather is finally in full swing and the morning temperature is 10 degrees Celsius.
It's good that we still have the sun when we go out now, but it will still be dark in a month, which makes me wonder what the future holds.
The Tokaido Line was delayed, and the platform of the down line at Ofuna Station was crowded with people.
I was worried that someone might fall onto the platform, but the down line came soon after we left the station, so I guess it would be okay.
The rush to work, which was eased after the Corona disaster, is now the same as before.
Is it natural that the economy is improving and people are more active?
On the other hand, it is a bit difficult for those of us whose physical strength for commuting is declining.

Yesterday I received an email from the person in charge of the second edition of my book, with a PDF of the third edition.
On the cover letter,

　　"We will finish this week. We are in the final stages!

I was very happy to see a rare "! mark, which was unusual for him.
It made me realize that publishing a book is not something I can do alone.

Almost a year ago, I was approached about the second edition of the book, and the first person in charge of the book seemed to have given up and was replaced by the current person in charge in September.
I had never seen him before, not even online, but he overcame my request for a draft without any difficulty and sent me one composition draft after another at a furious pace, and it was over in a flash.
The emails were also very emotionless, which made us very happy.

But in the end

"We are very sorry for the short time frame.
I would be very grateful if you could give me your instructions by Wednesday the 22nd.

I'm not happy about this, but it's something I have to do anyway, so I'm going to stop blogging now and work a little harder after this.

Don't let alcohol get to you.

The sky was completely covered with rain clouds.
The rain that had been falling since midnight last night continued to fall, but it had just stopped when I slipped into the station, so I didn't have to unfold my umbrella to save my life.

Last night, several of my friends of pathologist group met in Shinbashi and drank quite a bit.
Unlike Ginza, Shinbashi is a businessman's town, and we drank at a beer hall where someone is said to be good at pouring beer.
We talked about this and that while enjoying the bubbles that lived up to their reputation.
It was not so much an exchange of information, but we talked about what this person had done and what he was doing, and we learned some unexpected and useful things.
If it got too much, it would get uncomfortable, so we would stop at an appropriate point and change the subject.
Even when they were drunk, they were able to control their drinking, so I could drink with peace of mind.

As you get older, you become more aware of your alcohol limit.
When I was younger, I didn't know, so I made a lot of mistakes.
It's easier said than done to say, "Drink, but don't get drunk.
Last night, I made it home safely, but I regretted the two extra drinks I had after the last order was called.

Alcohol is only good when it tastes good, and it is even more poisonous when you are intoxicated or drowsy.
Whether you drink out or at home, you must be careful.
I am sure that many places will have year-end parties after Corona, but I would like to spend the year-end and New Year's holidays with caution, as it has been three years since I last drank outside.
I'm not going to have a drinking party at work this year either, because I don't want anything to happen to me.

Then just don't do it.

 

 It was supposed to be very cold again today, but surprisingly it was warm and mild.
It was such a morning, but I had a bad dream and couldn't sleep well.
It was such a bad dream that I wanted to forget it as soon as possible, but on the contrary, it was so bad that I decided to leave it as a sign from God.

What was the dream about?
I entered my room at work, where I was in a top position, and there were several people preparing to demonstrate a large machine in a not very large room.
Also, at my desk, which I usually use, there was a junior colleague, who had quit a few years before, sitting there with a dirty look on his face.
Immediately angry, I moved him out of the way and put my things on my desk, but I could hear the sounds of work behind my back.
I was angry that something was being done in my lab over which I had no control, and my frustration only grew.
He left the room and went to the next room to ask the classroom staff why such a demonstration was being conducted without his permission, but they all clammed up and refused to answer.
When she returned to the room where the machine was located, she found the junior student in question happily tinkering with it.
I told him to stop, kicked him out of the room, and told the contractor to bring the machine back to the office as soon as possible.

　　I greeted him and said, "Sensei, it's been a while.

I greeted him and told him that I had been in this situation and had been complaining about it for a while,

　　I was told, "That's the way it is.

I was told, "That's the way it is.
Then I went back to the room and got the person in charge of the contractor,

　　"Why don't you tell us how this happened?

I asked him, "Why are you being so harsh?

　　He said, "Why do you have to be so hard on me?
　　You're joking, you and I have nothing to do with each other, and I don't deserve to be treated that way.

And he was angry with me.
And then,

　　I'd said too much. Everything that was wrong with me came out.

I woke up and realized that I had said too much and all my bad points had come out.


This dream was so real and it was such a shock to me because the worst thing I did was so real that I felt like I would actually do it or I had done it many times before somewhere else.
Jealousy, short temper, lack of self-esteem and inferiority complexes, and all the things I usually hate about myself came rushing back at me.


I thought I would just keep it to myself because I would forget about it eventually, but I couldn't take it anymore and told my wife about it before I went out.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I told my wife about it before I left the house.
If you can figure it out, you don't have to do it.
Good for you.

She said,

Also, don't use "those people" when looking down on other people.

I was about to have a bad dream.
It was about to end up as a bad dream, but my wife's words saved me.

Never give up thinking, even if it is plus or minus zero.

 

The sky was blue in the morning, but the rest of the day was cloudy, and the cold weather is on the advance again today.
I think it is not bad that I think about different things every day, but when it is over, it seems to be all in a negative direction.

I start from scratch, list the problems or things I want to think about, analyze this and that, and suggest some remedies, but most of them turn out to be not so easy to solve, and I feel even more depressed because I cannot find any open-ended answers.
This is the usual pattern of thinking, and if you look closely, you will see that you are back to plus/minus zero, but the lack of a solution itself remains deeply embedded in your mind as a negative factor.
Cessation, as Hegel calls it, is not so easy to achieve.

Then you might as well try to stop thinking.

Think about nothing.

For example, it doesn't matter what your neighbor is doing or how politics are going, as long as you can live a carefree life, that's all that matters.
This may not be a bad way to live, but what would you do if something bad happened to you?

If you don't think about something all the time, it won't lead to a better way of life, and if something happens, you won't be able to handle it mentally.
So I think, even though it might be a trivial thing, I will live my life thinking about it a little bit every day.
Even if it causes more pain.

What Should We Believe in Internet Information?

It was windy yesterday.
Was it the withering of the trees? I thought it was, but the weather forecast at night said it was.
Winter is finally approaching.
The temperature in the morning was around 10 degrees Celsius, and it was indeed cold, so I pulled out my trench coat.
The rush of overdressed people is about to start on the trains as well.

There is a term called "private arrest system," and the person who was doing it was arrested for defamation of character.
It is disturbing because they treated a person who was just meeting up with a friend as a reseller, took a video of it, and uploaded it to the Internet.
Something similar could happen with molestation or theft (shoplifting).
The people who watch the video do not know that they are making up a false accusation, so they judge the person in the video to be an outrageous person.
The person who made up the video is at fault, but is the viewer not also at fault?
Internet videos were good when they were just fun and interesting, but now they have become well-produced and have become a form of entertainment.
Isn't there an aspect of viewers who are looking for entertainment value that is increasing the number of popular contributors?
Well, there is nothing to stop it now.

The Israeli attack on a hospital, which is considered a Hamas stronghold, seems to be getting more and more intense.
One young man shouted, "This is unacceptable, look at this terrible situation.
Whether he is a civilian, a member of Hamas, or a Hamas sympathizer, we do not know.
All we know for sure is that both Israel and the Palestinian side have said in common that an attack on the hospital is taking place.

The fabrication and falsification of information will increase in the future, and I wonder if we will ever be able to find the truth among them.
Even if it is the truth, depending on one's point of view, it could be viewed in the exact opposite way.
Not to say that everything is bogus, but what is the truth in the first place?
If we follow the "common sense" that most people have, we will probably not have a big problem, but there will be people who deviate from it at some point, and since they are all different, the range of deviation will be large. The swing is very wide because there are people who are out of step at some point.
Should we aim to level it out, or should we just go with the flow and leave it at that, or should we wait for open AI to provide some kind of indicator?

Disappearance of Guiding Principles for Life and Growing Anxiety

It's even colder than yesterday, sweaters and coats.
It's November, so I guess that's normal, but considering how hot it was just a few days ago, the change in temperature is a bit sudden.
I feel tired from the lecture in Nagoya.
I went home in a stupor last night, took a bath when I got home, and went straight to bed, but I feel tired and sleepy.
Maybe I wore a suit for the first time in a long time, or maybe I spent the whole day in leather shoes, or maybe I was very nervous, and now that it's over, I feel drained.

The Israeli invasion of the Gaza Strip, or rather the Hamas cleansing operation, has progressed considerably, and it seems that the "main battle" is being fought in the hospital, which is being used as a human shield.
If, as reported, Hamas has its headquarters in the basement of the hospital, then the people in the hospital area are human shields, and I feel a sense of helplessness.

On the other hand, recent news in the country makes me want to cover my eyes.
I wonder if this country is broken.
The deterioration of politicians, the exploitation of women by hosts, wild boars, bad teachers and policemen, special scams, etc., all suggest that this country is already broken.

I have no idea what to do about these things when I am so disturbed by them.
Japan and the world are losing the guiding principles of life.
I do not know whether it is the disappearance of what was considered absolutely right, or simply the revelation that there was no such thing in the first place.
The fact that something is absolutely right, which used to lead to peace of mind, is now compounded by the revelation that there is no such thing.

I wonder how on earth we can live in this world where there are even evil people who take advantage of our anxious minds.