After presenting at IAP 2026 in Fukuoka, Japan, I find myself reflecting on more than just the conference. Speaking in English at an international meeting was exhausting, especially at my age, but I managed to get through it. Yet the experience has left me questioning what I have accomplished in my thirty years as a pathologist. Have I made the most of my abilities? What does professional success really mean? And what responsibilities remain for me as a leader?
The international conference in Fukuoka has come to a successful conclusion.
First of all, I'm exhausted.
For a pathologist in his early sixties, attending an international conference is demanding, even when it's held here in Japan.
What exactly constitutes a "successful conclusion" may differ from person to person. But I stood at the podium, somewhat nervous, and managed to speak in English for a little over ten minutes, however haltingly. I even managed to respond to the questions during the discussion.
So I suppose I can call that a success.
The presentation itself was challenging. I was proposing a new classification for benign congenital lesions, a subject so complicated that even I sometimes found myself getting confused while explaining it.
Considering all that, I think I did reasonably well.
It's rather pathetic to have to console myself like this, but at least the presentation is over. Now I'm heading home to Kamakura.
Still, I've been doing things like this for thirty years.
When I look back on my career as a pathologist, I can't help wondering what I've actually accomplished.
I haven't published any particularly significant papers, and sometimes I even question whether I deserve to call myself a specialist in pathology.
But these are the results of my career, and there's no point in denying them.
No matter how hard one works, it's difficult to compete with people who are truly gifted.
On the other hand, talent comes in many forms, and I don't know whether the path I chose was really the best one for me.
Perhaps this was the best I could have done.
Perhaps this was simply the limit of my abilities.
When it comes to success in life, people tend to judge us by our achievements. The process of getting there receives far less attention.
Of course, when it comes to personal growth, the process matters enormously. The kind of person we become is something quite different from what we achieve professionally.
Looking back on the path I've taken, I feel I can give myself a little credit for the way I've lived my life.
All things considered, I think I've done reasonably well.
But as a pathologist, I can't help feeling that I've fallen somewhat short.
I intend to continue working as a pathologist for a while longer, but I wonder what I should be doing now as a leader.
I'm no longer entirely confident that I have what it takes.
Even if I'm little more than a hollow facade, trying to live up to a role that may be beyond my abilities, I still have a responsibility to fulfill it for as long as that role is entrusted to me.
These are the thoughts running through my tired mind, just after finishing my presentation.
Perhaps the hardest part of looking back on one's career is accepting both what one has achieved and what one never could.
・・・・
Come to a successful conclusion — 無事に終了する。単に finish というより、問題なく終えられたというニュアンス。
However haltingly — たどたどしいながらも。流暢ではない英語で何とか話した様子。
Constitute — ～に相当する、～を構成する。What constitutes success? で「何をもって成功というのか」。
Console myself — 自分を慰める。失敗や不安を抱えた自分を納得させようとすること。
Truly gifted — 本当に才能に恵まれた。生来の優れた才能を強調する表現。
Fall somewhat short — 期待や目標に少し届かない。「イマイチだった」という控えめな自己評価。
Have what it takes — 必要な能力や資質を備えている。
A hollow facade — 中身の伴わない外見、見せかけ。「ハリボテ」の比喩的表現。
Entrust a role to someone — 人に役割を託す。責任や信頼を伴う表現。
#IAP2026 #Pathology #Pathologist #InternationalConference #MedicalCareer #CareerReflection #Leadership #PersonalGrowth #Fukuoka #Kamakura #病理医 #国際学会 #人生を振り返る
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